Drunk and Disorderly
by BeTheCheeto
Summary: After Gai challenges Kakashi to a sake-drinking contest, the rest of the night becomes a bit of a haze. How will the two proud jonin react to learning of their actions? How will it change the relationship between the two? KakaGai, yaoi, warnings for language and smut
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or these characters: I just enjoy taking the wonderful characters Masashi Kishimoto made and making them have very complex love lives. Hope you enjoy it, too!

xXx

Kakashi put a hand to his aching head, feeling like it had been split in half with an axe. He vaguely registered the brightness outside of his eyelids, and was reluctant to open them, knowing that it would seem like hell on earth. Holding his head to try to steady it, he slowly shifted in the bed, immediately recognizing that the bed he was laying in was not his, and that he was naked in it. He felt a presence next to him, and assumed that he must have met a girl at the bar last night, though he didn't remember anything after the sake-drinking contest with Gai. Damn that spandex-suited man and his unusual challenges.

He reluctantly cracked on eye open to try to get a look at the girl he had gone home with, only to see that her figure was very masculine, her broad shoulders tapering to a flat chest and… fuck. His eye flew open completely as he looked up to confirm what he already knew: he was naked in bed with Gai, who was naked at least from the waist up.

He tried to take deep breaths, to calm himself down. There had to be a good explanation for this. After all, it wouldn't be the first time he had woken up naked in a strange place after a night of heavy drinking, and that had just been him being drunk. That had to be it. He sharply nudged the man next to him, hissing the ninja's name angrily through his teeth. Gai stirred, seeing Kakashi next to him and shooting the silver-haired ninja a confused look.

"…Kashi?" he yawned. He sat up and looked around. "What are you doing in my bed?"

"That's what I was hoping you'd know," Kakashi said, sitting up as well and freezing at the sudden motion. _Oh, no. Not good._ He tried to calm himself, but he was starting to piece the puzzle together, and he wasn't liking the final picture. "Gai… what do you remember about last night?" he asked, quietly and slowly, trying to avoid moving more than necessary.

"Well… I remember the sake-drinking contest… and I won!" Gai exclaimed, giving his classic nice-guy pose in sitting form. As he did so, he frowned at his midsection, recognizing an unfamiliar feeling at his movement. "Huh… I usually don't sleep naked."

Kakashi put his head in his hands. This could not be happening. "Nonononononono, this isn't happening… it's a bad dream… I just need to wake up," he rationalized. Suddenly, he jolted forward, gripping hard onto Gai's forearm with a manic look in his eyes. "Gai, punch me in the face!"

Gai, as unperceptive about social situations as usual, looked alarmed at Kakashi's request, and his seeming (hopefully temporary) insanity. "What?! No!"

"Gai, just do it! I need to wake up! Right now!"

"Kakashi… I don't think this is a dream," Gai said slowly, his face full of concern for his rival.

"Fuck, fuck, _fuck_ _ **fuckFUCK!**_ **"** Kakashi shouted, his hands balling into fists at his sides.

"Kakashi, what's wrong?" Gai asked, perplexed.

"You don't remember anything about last night, do you?" Kakashi asked, anger and something else that Gai couldn't read on his face.

"After the sake-drinking contest, not really, no."

Kakashi's head dropped back into his hands. "Oh, God…"

"Kakashi, maybe we should get up… Come on, I'll get you something for your head." Gai made to throw the blankets off himself and stand, seemingly unbothered by his nudity. Then again, Gai had always been a little more comfortable with his body and his way of life than anyone would like, so that wasn't really a surprise. Kakashi had already seen Gai naked on more than one occasion.

"I can't," Kakashi said quietly.

Gai chuckled lightly. "I think you mean you won't," he teased. "Come on, hangovers aren't that bad. I'm sure you've had worse."

Kakashi just sat there, staring at the blankets in front of him blankly. Gai went to reach for his friend, to shake him out of his stupor or help him up or something; even he didn't know what his exact intention was, but this attitude was not usual for his friend, and it was causing him concern. His fingers just brushed the man's shoulder gently, but he jumped away like he had been shocked, hissing in pain at the sudden movement. Gai noticed that he was moving strangely, and it didn't seem as if a headache was his problem.

He was now deeply concerned. Had he injured Kakashi in his sleep? It wouldn't be the first time he had tried to sleep-fight someone, and they had come out on the wrong end of the deal. "Kakashi, tell me what's wrong this instant," he said, his voice deep and authoritative. Kakashi looked up at him, his eyes still full of that unreadable emotion.

"Gai, try to remember last night… I really don't want to have to explain it to you… please," Kakashi pleaded. Gai raised his large eyebrows. Kakashi, pleading? This MUST be serious. His brows furrowed together as he closed his eyes, trying to remember last night. He recalled the bar, the shots, _so many shots._ Then they were leaving the bar, him and Kakashi leaning against each other's shoulders for less-than-effective drunken support. They had fallen into a fence, laughing as they looked to each other, and their eyes had locked, and… Oh, God.

 _Crashing lips, dueling tongues, their hands each tearing at the other's clothes until they reached the heated skin beneath. Hands tangling through silver hair, head bobbing, a quiet gasp… Muffled moans and cries of passion, sweat-slick skin sliding over the other's body as he thrust himself deep inside, crying out at his completion._

Oh, God! Gai stumbled away from the silver-haired man with a gasp as the memories came rushing back.

"Do you remember now?" Kakashi asked the older jonin quietly, staring at his hands clasped over the white sheets where they dipped slightly between his thighs. Gai looked at Kakashi, instantly recognizing now that emotion that Kakashi's eyes had held earlier: the same horror that he was sure was now mirrored in his own.

"No, no… we didn't… we couldn't have…"

"We did," Kakashi said hollowly, not looking at his friend.

"But… but why would we…" Gai stuttered. He was confused, and for some reason, his heart was fluttering nervously.

"I have no idea…" Kakashi mumbled, finally looking up to Gai, but quickly averting his eyes and throwing up a hand to block the sight with a groan. "For the love of God, will you put on some pants?!"

Gai jumped back out of his thoughts, looking down at his naked form. He had forgotten about that… A blush flared to life easily in his cheeks as he rummaged in his drawers before pulling on a pair of clean boxers and a clean spandex suit. Now dressed, he sat back on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands, elbows resting on his knees. He felt the sheets brush his back as Kakashi threw them off himself and scrambled out of his bed, quickly locating his clothes on the floor and pulling them on. Gai heard hisses of discomfort as the ninja's quick movements exacerbated his… condition.

He heard his friend cross to the door, and chanced a glance at the ninja. "What are we going to do about this?" he asked his friend quietly.

Kakashi froze with his hand on the doorknob. "Nothing. This never happened," he hissed through his teeth before wrenching the door open and storming out of Gai's apartment, trying hard to hide his slight limp.

When he was gone, Gai flopped onto his back on the bed, his hand coming up to cover his eyes. What was supposed to happen now?


	2. Chapter 2

Kakashi walked through the streets of town, grimacing as he tried and failed to hide his limp. His muscles ached and his body was reacting angrily to Gai's rough treatment of it last night. He pulled out Icha Icha, desperate to lose himself in his favorite story and get out of this nightmare that had become his life, but every scene reminded him of flashes of last night.

The main character kissed his love interest… _just like Gai had pulled down his mask and kissed him last night, slow and sweet, pressed against that fence._

The characters kissed their way passionately up the stairs to his bedroom… _just like Gai had shoved him against the wall, tongue thrusting deep into his throat as Gai's hips rolled against his, exuding a sinful moan from the slighter ninja._

The main sex scene had now started… _Gai leaned down to kiss Kakashi, this kiss full of passion and heat, as his fingers worked their way in and out, Kakashi crying out when they brushed that oh-so-pleasurable spot. Kakashi looked at Gai's lust-filled eyes, his Sharingan taking in the intensity of every expression across the larger ninja's face as he watched the man below him writhe in ecstasy. Gai removed his fingers and Kakashi felt the man's length positioned at his entrance. He reached for his broad shoulders to steady himself. He felt himself being penetrated, and Gai's eyes widened as his hips bucked instinctively, pushing himself all the way in. Kakashi cried out in pain as his body pushed against the intrusion, but he felt the pleasure too as Gai slammed back into him._

Kakashi slammed the book shut angrily, earning him reproachful stares from a group of children passing him. He put the book back in his kunai pouch and ran his hand over his face, his breath escaping him in a rush. Damn Sharingan… he knew that he was much too drunk to remember much of the previous night, but the parts that his Sharingan had been open were burned into his mind. Usually a helpful tool to have while drunk, his Sharingan was able to perfectly record moments that his alcohol-addled brain had forgotten, occasionally getting him out of a tight spot. This time, though, he wished he didn't have those images, those memories at all, let alone with the perfect clarity the Sharingan provided.

Thanks to that, every time Kakashi closed his eyes, all he saw was Gai hovering above him, skin slick with sweat as his body curled and straightened, pleasure written across his face. His dark lusty eyes flew open as Kakashi moaned beneath him, gripping his biceps so tightly he left finger-shaped bruises that Kakashi had seen this morning. Yes, Kakashi was furious with Gai for that stupid sake-drinking contest. If they hadn't drunk so much, they would never be in this mess! He was mad at Gai for… well, everything!

' _Now be honest with yourself_ ,' Kakashi heard an inner voice say. The voice of reason that he had been forcefully suppressing all morning. ' _You aren't mad at Gai for the drinking, or the sex. You're mad at yourself because you enjoyed it_ …'

Kakashi was extremely grateful for his mask, as it hid the burn of shame that flushed his cheeks. He shifted uncomfortably, feeling a mixture of Gai's essence and lube separating his cheeks and coating his thighs. They must have been up late, he thought with a shudder. All he wanted was to go home and take a shower that was a million degrees and lasted until he died, to burn the feeling of Gai off of him. He even considered bleaching his violated ass, afraid he would never feel clean again. He could still feel the Beast's large, strong hands on his skin, like they were still gripping his hips. Like they were still pulling his rocking body against their own. He could still hear the moans that had escaped his own mouth, sounds that he hadn't even realized he could make. Kakashi shook his head, desperate to clear it of the memories that were only becoming stronger as his hangover eased.

Just then, a masked ANBU appeared in front of him. He had been so distracted that he almost walked into him, and stumbled back a step or two. The ANBU wordlessly handed Kakashi a scroll, a summons to the Hokage's office, and disappeared with a puff. Kakashi opened the scroll, irritated that it required immediate action and gave him absolutely no details on the mission that would be assigned when he arrived. He sighed. Looks like his lava shower would have to wait until later.

He jumped to the rooftops, quickly regretting the action as he hissed out his discomfort, but he continued to run along the rooftops. If he was going to be dispatched for a mission immediately, he would have to work through the pain anyway. He didn't want any of his comrades to ever find out what had happened last night. When he arrived at the Hokage tower, he let himself in through the window, thoroughly flustering Tsunade. She looked angrily at him as he surveyed the room, but her anger turned to confusion as she took in his shocked and slightly embarrassed expression as his eyes fell on Gai, standing in front of her desk. She looked to Gai, and saw that he likewise was blushing like a mad fool and refusing to look at the Copy Ninja. She raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

"What the hell is the matter with you two?" she asked them. Gai just cleared his throat and shifted nervously.

'Damn him, he's going to give us away!' Kakashi thought to himself. He quickly composed his features to look angry. "We had a drinking contest last night. I lost," he said coldly. He could feel Gai's shocked eyes look up to him like a whipped puppy at the coldness in his tone, but it was all he could think to do. Fortunately, it had the desired effect.

Tsunade snorted with laughter. She had heard about Gai's ridiculous challenges for the Copy Ninja. His drinking-related challenges were particularly amusing to those around them, until he started getting aggressive and Kakashi inevitably had to step in. And, depending on how drunk Kakashi was, he sometimes received quite the beat-down for intervening. "Ah. That probably explains why you're moving funny, as well, Kakashi," she said, giving him an amused smile. Kakashi froze in shock and horror as Gai's blush turned tomato red. Was it really that obvious? "Would you like me to heal it before you two leave on your mission?"

Kakashi shook his head vehemently. As nice as it would be, getting healed would mean explaining the nature of the injury, and he sure as hell was not about to do that. She looked at him funny, but gestured for him to join Gai on the other side of her desk. He slowly walked around the desk, intentionally standing as far from Gai as he could without arising suspicion.

Tsunade explained the mission, a simple intel-gathering operation in the Land of Grass. 'Shouldn't take more than a week, but at this point, that would feel like an eternity,' Kakashi thought. Tsunade continued to eye the pair curiously as she explained that they should leave immediately. They both nodded and disappeared to their homes, with a plan to meet in 20 minutes at the front gate.

When Kakashi finally arrived after standing in scalding water for an undetermined amount of time, he was an hour late, which he thought wasn't that bad for him. However, Kakashi still expected Gai to be angry at him. He hated being delayed on leaving for missions. It was one of the few things that truly irritated him about his best friend. But instead, his friend stood, lost in his own thoughts as he bit down on his lip. Kakashi just walked past him and out the gates, hearing the man jump into action to catch up with him.

"Kakashi…" Gai started, as soon as they were out of earshot of the gates.

"Don't even start!" Kakashi growled at him, turning around and grabbing him by the collar. "We are not going to talk about it! It never happened! We are going to get this god-forsaken mission over with, and we will return home and life will go back to the way it was, got me?" Gai swallowed hard and nodded, clearly upset that his friend was so angry at him.

Kakashi sighed. "Look, Gai. I'm not mad at you. At least, no more mad at you than I am at myself. I just… I don't want to talk about it anymore. EVER."

Gai nodded, though he really wanted them to talk about it to get the awkwardness out of the way. "So, the Land of Grass, then?" he asked, giving his rival a hopeful smile. Much to his relief, Kakashi returned it with a crinkle-eyed grin of his own.

"Yep, Land of Grass." And with that, the two set off in companionable silence.


	3. Chapter 3

**Warnings** : Mentions of M/M sex and lots of swearing in this chapter

* * *

The pair reached a small village by nightfall, deciding that they would stand a better chance of gathering information if they were well rested. So, they got a room at a local inn, and climbed the stairs in awkward silence. When they reached the room, Kakashi flopped face-first on the bed closest to the door. Gai raised an eyebrow. "Tired?" he asked, teasingly.

"Shut up," Kakashi muttered into the comforter. His voice, though not cold, showed the strain of the awkward journey here.

Gai sat down heavily on the other bed. "Look, I know you said it would go back to normal when we got home, but if you keep acting like this, I don't see how it can," Gai said sadly, his voice quiet but he knew the other man had heard him.

Kakashi lifted his head from the comforter just enough that he could turn his face to Gai. "What are you talking about? I'm always like this. I'm just an ass."

Gai sighed heavily. "Yes, you always say stuff like that, but… I don't know, you just say it differently normally."

Kakashi rolled over and sat up, running a frustrated hand through spiky silver hair. "We had sex, Gai! What the fuck do you want me to say? You fucked me! And to make matters worse, I still have no idea why I let you!"

Gai looked down at his lap, his blush intensifying. He tried to think of something to say, but he didn't know how to handle this situation. He remembered the last time he'd had this conversation with someone, a girl who had been more drunk than she had wanted to be and ended up in his bed. Fortunately, she had been relatively easy to calm as Gai didn't actually remember her name, so he had just said that he wouldn't be able to tell anyone anyway, and she had accepted that and left.

But with Kakashi, he knew it wouldn't be that easy. For one thing, they were both confused about why it had happened in the first place. Neither of them were gay, nor had they ever felt an attraction to each other before. For another thing, Kakashi's pride was hurt after having let another man, especially his friend and rival, dominate him and take him. Finally, both of them had regained most of their memories of that night, and it was hard to forget how much they had both enjoyed it. But Gai refused to allow this to come between them. Between Lee and Kakashi, Gai wasn't able to decide which one meant more to him. He was not about to let a night of drunken sex take away one of the most important people in his life. "Can we please just forget this?" Gai asked quietly, pleading with his friend.

"You think I haven't tried?!" Kakashi yelled, staring incredulously at Gai. "Do you honestly think I want to remember what it felt like to have you inside of me?! You think I don't want to forget how I moaned like a whore while you fucked me? How I **begged** for you to go harder, or deeper? How I enjoyed letting you pound me into your mattress so hard I saw fucking stars?! I came from you fucking me in the ass!" Gai cringed. This would be more difficult than he expected, and he was quickly running out of options on ways to handle it.

Gai's eyes were directed resolutely at his feet. "Well, if it will help, I'll let you…"

Gai was cut off when a familiar orange book slammed into the wall right where his head had been just a second before. He shot Kakashi a startled glare, only to see the jonin glowering at him, stunned. "How the hell do you think that is going to help?"

Gai shrugged hopelessly. "I don't know… I just want things to go back to how they were before."

"Yeah, well, they can't!" Kakashi yelled stubbornly.

"Why not?" Gai asked, desperately.

"Because… they just aren't the same."

Gai made a noise of frustration. "And why the hell can't they be? Why can't you just see it as the drunken mistake it was and move on?"

"BECAUSE I LIKED IT!" Kakashi yelled. "AND BECAUSE EVERY FUCKING TIME I LOOK AT YOU, ALL I CAN THINK IS THAT I WANT YOU TO DO IT AGAIN! I FUCKING WANT YOU, GAI!"

Gai's eyes widened as he stared at his friend in shock. He sat there in stunned silence for several minutes, staring at the silver-haired ninja who looked horrified at what he had just admitted as his chest heaved in the aftermath of his furious outburst. "You… you want me?" Gai asked, in the tiniest voice Kakashi had ever heard him use.

Kakashi sighed in defeat, running a hand through unruly silver spikes in frustration. "Yes." It was all he could say. He had just ruined his closest friendship with the man who had never given up on him, all over one stupid night that said man considered to be nothing but a mistake, that Kakashi knew he should consider a mistake as well. But then…

"Oh, thank God. I thought it was just me," the Beast muttered. Kakashi's head snapped up from where he had been staring at the floor so fast he swore you could hear it.

"What?!"

Gai blushed. "... did I say that out loud?"

"Yeah." The two sat in awkward silence for what felt like an eternity, before Kakashi quietly broke the silence. "Did you mean it when you said it was a mistake?" The uncertainty and insecurity in his rival's tone nearly broke Gai's heart.

Gai considered that for a moment. "Well, I mean, neither of us is gay, so it had to be… right? I mean, we probably just thought that we were with someone else and one thing led to another and…"

Kakashi looked like he was on some of trail of thought. "I don't think so…" he said slowly.

Gai looked up at him, his shock evident on his face. "What do you mean? Did you plan…"

Kakashi quickly cut him off, startled. He knew that his friends thought he was a hopeless pervert, but was minorly offended that Gai thought he would take advantage of his drunk friend and seduce him. "NO! I would never in a million years have planned that! Until it had already happened, I had never even considered that it was something I may ever want." Gai let out a sigh of relief, his heart starting to feel guilty for jumping to conclusions and clearly offending his friend. He opened his mouth to apologize, but Kakashi was already speaking again. "It's just that… well, it seems too illogical for it to have been a mistake to us at the time. There's too many inconsistencies."

"Like what?"

"Well, for one, how many times have we gotten drunk with each other and NOT had sex? It's happened A LOT over the years, and we've never woken up together before, so that has to mean something about that night was different, right? And for another, I don't think it was possible for us to have mistaken each other for someone else. I mean, like you said, we're both straight, and sex with a woman is VERY different than sex with a man (not that I ever knew how much before that night), but both of us jumped in and did it the way two guys do. I mean, obviously, it was different for me, since I had never… been penetrated… before." Kakashi shuddered lightly at that as he gestured vaguely with his hands to give them both someplace to look other than at each other. He still couldn't believe he had let Gai inside of him. He sighed before continuing. This was a very awkward conversation, and it would have to get a lot more awkward before he was done. "But, it also would have been very different for you. I mean, for one, I distinctly remember you… using your mouth… on me before that. Not to mention, you… prepared me… appropriately… for two guys… doing what they do…" He spoke slowly and awkwardly, clearing his throat uncomfortably before finishing. "Which obviously is not necessary when a guy nails a girl."

Gai nodded solemnly. He understood where Kakashi was coming from, as he distinctly remembered watching and tangling his fingers in spiky silver hair as he was serviced, as well. He didn't know what to say to that, so he didn't say anything. "Plus," Kakashi added, even more quietly then before, as though he was ashamed of the words he was about to speak. "We used each other's names… there was no way we thought the other was anyone else."

Gai jolted a little at that. He hadn't remembered calling Kakashi's name, or hearing his own. Then again, he trusted Kakashi not to lie to him, and trusted Kakashi's Sharingan to remind the man of exactly what happened. After all, it had gotten him out of even more tight spots than Kakashi, as he tended to have a temper when he was drunk. "We did?" he asked, his stomach jolting a little.

Kakashi nodded slowly. "Yeah, I remember screaming your name when I…" He trailed off, his cheeks tinting a bright red. A flash of memory suddenly appeared before Gai. A sliver of moonlight illuminating the silver-haired man, watching his lips move in fascination as Gai's name tumbled out of them, part of a mantra the man kept repeating. Gai blushed even harder than Kakashi when he realized the other things he had been saying. The memory of his best friend begging him to come in him was now forever implanted in his mind. He buried his face in his hands, finally agreeing that nothing could ever be the way it was.

"So, what now?" the spandex-suited jonin asked his friend. When Kakashi's response never came, Gai heaved a sigh. "I mean… do you think… should we…" He let off with a sigh, not knowing how to phrase what he was about to say.

Kakashi looked at him with one eyebrow raised. "Spit it out, Gai." His voice was dry, but his heart was pounding anxiously.

Gai stared determinedly at his lap while he stuttered out his thought process. "Well, I was just… just thinking that since we both seem… interested… I mean… shouldwetryitagain?" he blurted.

Kakashi's eye widened in shock. "You… you want to do it again?"

Gai blushed furiously as he nodded almost imperceptibly. "I mean, how else are we going to figure out what… what this actually is?"

Kakashi considered that for a moment before sighing. "Yeah, I guess you're right…" Gai gave a determined nod and stood, swiftly closing the distance between the two ninja. He had a finger inside the Copy Ninja's mask before the other even realized he had moved. Damn, he was fast. Kakashi's hand caught Gai's wrist in a death grip. He gave a short, unamused chuckle. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he asked dangerously.

Gai swallowed thickly at Kakashi's tone. "Well, I can't kiss you with your mask on…" he mumbled, not making eye contact with the clearly angry ninja.

Kakashi's grip slackened as his eye widened. "Wait, you… you want to do this now?!"

Gai nodded, still staring resolutely at the floor. "Well yeah… I mean, you're my best friend, and I want this sorted as quickly as possible…"

Kakashi shook his head slowly, trying to process what had been about to happen. Again. "Look, Gai, I agree that we need to deal with this, but I… I just can't right now. Things are still too confusing. Can we just get this mission done, and then we'll decide what to do about it when we get back to the village?"

Gai gave a resigned nod, and turned to go back to his bed. He stripped down to his boxers and as he pulled the covers over his head, he could swear he heard a whispered "I'm sorry," from the occupant of the other bed.

* * *

It had been almost a week since Gai and Kakashi had returned from their mission, and they had yet to talk about what they were going to do. If he was being honest, Kakashi would have to admit that he was avoiding Gai, despite the Beast's never-ending efforts to get him alone. It wasn't that Kakashi didn't think the issue needed resolved; it was just that he didn't know what to say to the man, what to do about the situation. He wasn't exactly someone who was in touch with his more emotional self, and Gai very much so was, so he was a little nervous about what the other man's reactions to the conversation would be. Plus… he was afraid of what would happen to him if they found a mutual attraction and it didn't work out. After all, Gai was one of the few people he had left, and though it was hard for him to communicate how much the Beast meant to him, he didn't know what would happen to him without his rival's insistence on being paid attention to.

Kakashi also found himself wondering what would happen if his students learned what had happened between him and Gai. Sakura, being the empathetic person she was, would probably say he should go for it if that was what made him happy, though she would wrinkle her nose at the thought of them together. Naruto, on the other hand… Kakashi sighed. No, the obnoxious blond wouldn't take it well at all.

Kakashi observed the boy in question as he watched his former student slurp down his third bowl of ramen. The boy paused when he felt his sensei's eyes on him. "Yeah, Kakashi-sensei?" he asked, setting down the empty bowl.

Kakashi looked at the boy for a long moment before speaking, phrasing his words carefully. "Naruto… what do you think of me?" he asked, trying to keep his face neutral.

The boy's face paled and eyes grew wide. He looked shocked and appalled, and though confused as to why, it was hard for Kakashi not to laugh at the ridiculous expression. "Why are you always so creepy, Kakashi-sensei?" the boy practically yelled.

Kakashi looked confused, but eventually dismissed the blonde's odd behavior with a shake of his head and a chuckle. He reached for his wallet, and Naruto quickly shot up. "Oh, no you don't! I'm paying for myself!" Naruto yelled, throwing money down on the counter and running out. Kakashi watched him incredulously before sighing and following the boy. He wondered what was up with him tonight.

Naruto walked down the dark streets of Konoha, kicking a small rock out in front of him before catching up to it and repeating the action, muttering about creepy old men and pervy sensei's. He turned down a dark alley, crying out in shock and stumbling to see the crinkle-eyed smile of his teacher at just his face height right in front of him. He yelled in surprise and ran back into the street, watching his teacher warily.

Kakashi sighed. "Naruto, what is wrong with you tonight?" he asked, genuinely starting to feel concern for his student's strange behavior.

"You're the one being strange!" the boy yelled, pointing an accusing finger at his sensei.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't wanna be on a date with you, Kakashi-sensei!" he yelled. It was Kakashi's turn to get wide-eyed.

"What are you talking about, Naruto?" he asked, looking up and down the street at the strange looks they were getting after Naruto's thoughtless outburst (not that he hadn't gotten used to Naruto's complete lack of tact or subtlety, but this could seriously hurt his reputation.)

Naruto shuffled further away from his teacher uncomfortably. "Well, you invited me to dinner, and you were gonna pay without even trying to trick me into it… and then you asked what I thought of you… I thought you were hitting on me," the blond mumbled, embarrassed.

Kakashi raised his eyebrows at his overreacting student. "Naruto, I'm 14 years older than you, and your teacher to boot. I'm not about to start hitting on you, **ever**."

Naruto rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Sorry, sensei. I guess I got a little carried away." He chuckled embarrassedly.

"I'd say so," Kakashi said drily, raising an eyebrow at his student.

Naruto allowed himself to straighten up, looking at his teacher in all seriousness now. "So, then, what was all that about?" Naruto asked.

Kakashi sighed again. "I just… I don't have many people in my life that I care what they think of me, but you're one of them. I want to be a good teacher to you, and to Sakura." Kakashi looked down at the ground while he talked. He hated having deep conversations. He looked up at Naruto now. "I just wanted to know how you felt about me, **as your teacher** ," he clarified.

Naruto blinked a few times. "I think you're a great teacher, Kakashi-sensei." He watched the man shuffle uncomfortably for a minute. "Is everything okay, sensei?"

Kakashi fought back another sigh. "It's just… when someone chooses the life I have, being alone all the time, sometimes people like to start… unfavorable rumors." Kakashi chose his words very carefully. "I've been hearing some such rumors lately, and it certainly isn't the first time I've heard them ( _though it was the first time they'd been true,_ he thought to himself), not even the first time I've heard these specific rumors, but… they've never bothered me before. I've never had anyone in my life that I actually worried what they would think of me if they heard these rumors, if they believed them to be true. But now, my life has changed, and I do worry what some people think of me." He gave Naruto a meaningful look. "You are my student, and you matter to me now, and I do care what you think of me, Naruto."

Naruto just stared thoughtfully at his sensei for a while, until Kakashi got uncomfortable making eye contact and looked down at his feet. Suddenly, there was a second pair of shinobi sandals standing right in front of his. His eyes raised to Naruto's bright smile as the boy placed his hand on Kakashi's shoulder. "Kakashi-sensei, I know it may not always seem like it, but I really do respect you. I always have. And nothing will ever change that, believe it!" The boy finished his promise with his trademark wink, his free hand giving Kakashi a thumbs-up.

Kakashi shot Naruto a relieved smile. "Thank you, Naruto," he said quietly. The boy nodded happily and turned to head home. Kakashi watched him go, thinking of his sensei. ' _You really would be proud of him, Minato-sensei,'_ he thought to his memories. ' _He really is something else.'_


	4. Chapter 4

Gai sighed as he stared at his drink, trying to figure out what to do about his situation with Kakashi. Despite the former ANBU's promise that they would deal with the situation when they came back from their mission, the silver-haired man had been avoiding him. It had been nearly two weeks, and while he wasn't altogether surprised that the jonin was refusing to face the situation they found themselves in, he was hurt. He had always thought that Kakashi's promises to him meant something, no matter how insincere or sarcastic the man may be. But he had promised they would talk, and now it seemed he was more interested in just ending their friendship and forgetting anything ever happened between them.

More than anything, Gai missed his best friend. In addition to keeping him mentally stimulated with a variety of diverse challenges, Kakashi was also the person that Gai talked to when he was having a hard time. Admittedly, he may have gotten farther talking to a brick wall, as his 'heartfelt talks' with Kakashi tended to consist of him stalking the jonin down the street babbling at him as the man dodged civilians and ninja alike with his nose buried in his book, occasionally grunting at Gai. But Gai liked to think those grunts were an acknowledgement of what he was saying, of the deep bond the two shared.

Now, he was stuck with the biggest personal dilemma he had ever faced, and he was being forced to face it without Kakashi. He sighed into his drink again, swirling the contents. He didn't really want it, but it gave him something to focus on other than his predicament.

"The hell's wrong with you, Gai? I've never seen you look so… depressed," came a deep voice from behind him.

Gai turned to face the voice, his alcohol-addled brain taking a minute to process the tanned skin, dark stubble and ever-present cigarette dangling from the man's mouth. "Asuma?" Gai slurred.

The man's deep chuckle rang out across the bar as he pulled up a stool next to Gai, waving a hand to call over the bartender. "Had a bit of a rough week, have we?" he teased the taijutsu user. Gai let out an almost maniacal laugh, and Asuma's face went from teasing to concerned. "Gai, seriously. Is everything alright?" he asked.

Gai laughed again, but he felt no amusement in Asuma's question, though he was fairly sure that somewhere, the gods were laughing at him. "Nothing is alright…" he mumbled, but Asuma's sharp shinobi ears caught it, though he wasn't sure he was supposed to.

Asuma and Gai had never exactly been the 'talk-about-your-feelings' type of friends, as Gai's larger-than-life personality and determination in his 'rivalry' with Kakashi caused him to be a difficult man to get to sit still for more than just a few minutes, and chasing him around town was not something Asuma was inclined to do. That was really something that Kakashi was better at, believe it or not. However, the fact that he was drowning his sorrows at the bar instead of searching for 'youthful life advice from his amazing eternal rival' must mean that his problem was with Kakashi. Asuma had seen it a few times before, when Kakashi had gone a little too far in his 'hip and cool' personality and legitimately hurt Gai's feelings, and Asuma had had to be there to pick him up and kick Kakashi into repairing the damage he had caused. He sighed. He hated having to be the emotional pick-up. "So, what did Kakashi do this time?"

Gai laughed again. "I'm not so sure it's what Kakashi did, as much as what I did to Kakashi."

Asuma raised an eyebrow. Gai was never one to intentionally hurt a friend, and though Kakashi certainly had plenty of points that they all knew were taboo, he could never see Gai striking one of those nerves no matter how angry he was. He chose to laugh quietly. "I find that hard to believe. Kakashi doesn't let anything phase him."

Gai snorted. "Yeah, well, I can't say I think he's ever been in this situation before."

Asuma sighed. Normally, when Gai and Kakashi had problems (which was rare, as Kakashi rarely told Gai, and Asuma was pretty sure Gai thought the sun shone out of Kakashi's ass), the bowl-cut-bearing man was more than willing to spill, usually desperate to allow it all to come gushing out. He hadn't expected it to be like pulling teeth. "Dammit, Gai, just tell me what's going on."

Gai shook his head. "I can't do that… it'd be a complete betrayal of Kakashi's trust."

Asuma raised an eyebrow, and decided the most effective course of action here would be to use logic to convince his friend to talk. "Look, I know you have your whole honor thing, but whatever it is has driven you to drink. In the shinobi world, that's not a good habit to get you into. We need you in your right mind so you can be effective on missions, and though Kakashi is good at compartmentalizing, you're shit at it. So tell me what the fuck is going on so I can help you fix it."

Gai laughed again, humorlessly, as he turned bloodshot eyes to his friend. "Can you make me unfuck my best friend?"

Asuma's eyes became wide as saucers as he stared uncomprehendingly at Gai. "You mean, like how he's fucked up in the head? Help him get better? Because the only one who can really do that is a professional, and he'd rather die than see a therapist."

Gai laughed humorlessly once more. "No, Asuma. I wish that was what I meant. I meant exactly what I said. The only way you can help is to go back in time and stop me from fucking Kakashi."

Asuma stared at his friend. It was a humorous sight to see, despite the seriousness of the situation. His eyes were wide, mouth drifting open and shut, stuttering out incomprehensible noises as he tried to understand the situation. He swallowed hard before trying again. "So, wait, you… you two had sex? With each other?" He leaned in and whispered the words closer to Gai's head so no one would hear. People in a shinobi village were so nosy, and these days, Kakashi and Gai gave them so little gossip material.

Gai just nodded as he stared at his drink.

Asuma shot a furtive glance around, hoping no one had heard what Gai had said already. "Why don't we get you somewhere more private? We can talk there…" He helped Gai of his stool, allowing him to throw an arm around his shoulders for support. He guided Gai back to his house, where he dropped him on the couch. He went into the kitchen to grab Gai a glass of water, bringing it back and plopping himself down in a chair in front of Gai. "Alright, now tell me, what the fuck happened that could possibly have led to you fucking Kakashi?!"

Gai stared blankly at the wall. "Fuck, I wish I had the answer to that, too…" he said. Asuma flinched slightly. It wasn't a secret that when drinking, Gai could get pretty volatile, and usually the swearing was a precursor to the beating of anyone in range.

"What do you mean? How would you not know?"

"We were fucking drunk. And I mean really, really drunk. Neither of us really remembers how we got there." Gai put his head in his hands, elbows resting on his knees as he sat despairingly on his couch.

"Wait… are you saying…" Asuma lowered his voice, leaning in a little closer. "Gai, you're not saying you… you raped him, are you?" Asuma knew that Gai wasn't that type of person, but when he looked at Gai's guilt, the drinking, and him not remembering that night… Even though he wanted to give his friend the benefit of the doubt, he had to admit that it looked suspicious. And Gai did tend to seem like a completely different, more aggressive person when he was drunk. Add to that the fact that Kakashi had a tendency to like to push his limits… maybe this time, Kakashi had just pushed him too far.

Gai's head shot up, and he gave his friend a horrified look. "Fuck, Asuma, do you really think I could have done that?" Instead of sounding accusatory, or even angry that his friend was suggesting it, his voice was hoarse and panicked. Asuma took a deep breath before answering, realizing that Gai honestly had no idea.

Gai was now sobbing uncontrollably, tears and snot dripping down his face. Asuma scrunched his face in disgust as he slowly pushed himself away, digging in his pockets until he found what he wanted. He popped the bottle open, knocking two small blue pills into his hand. "Here, Gai, take these and get some rest. They're… erm, for your headache… Yeah." Gai looked at him, still hiccupping but took the pills and swallowed them. Asuma sighed with relief. "Ok, now get some sleep."

Gai laid down on the couch, and as soon as his head hit the soft fabric, he was out. Asuma smiled. He was glad he just happened to have been carrying the sleeping pills he had had to start taking after losing one of his teammates a few weeks ago. His relief was short-lived, however, as he realized that now he had to help Gai with this extraordinarily uncomfortable situation, as Kakashi was emotionally constipated and, though he was usually pretty good with Gai, that wouldn't be the best scenario for him right now, for obvious reasons.

When Asuma saw Kakashi walking down the street later that day, he ran to catch up with him. "Hey, Kakashi, hold up a second!" he yelled out. Kakashi looked up from his book and waited for Asuma to reach him.

"Yo. What's up?" Kakashi's face was blank, and he only spared a moment of his attention to greet his friend before returning to his book, his pace picking up again. Asuma easily fell into step beside him, used to talking to the 'distracted' jonin and knowing the man could hear him just fine.

"Look, maybe we can go someplace more… I don't know, private? I need to talk to you about something…"

Kakashi looked up and raised an eyebrow at the man. "What could you possibly need to talk to me about that needs to be done in private?" he asked. Asuma looked at him pleadingly and he sighed, tucking his book into his kunai pouch. Asuma wouldn't ask if it wasn't serious, so he figured reading porn during the conversation would be frowned upon. He grabbed Asuma's arm and teleported them back to his apartment. "So, what's so important that we had to be alone?" he asked, trying to hide his irritation.

Asuma took a deep breath. He hadn't been expecting the sudden teleportation jutsu, and had hoped to collect himself while conducting small talk on the walk to his own nearby apartment. "Look, I met up with Gai last night… at a bar. He was fucking wasted as hell, and he told me… some things."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow and his eye hardened. "I'm not open for business, if that's what you're looking for," he said drily.

Asuma closed his eyes and wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Fuck, man. I know you think you're hot shit and all, but the last thing on my mind is fucking you." He shuddered.

Kakashi still looked pissed, but he let out a breath. "OK. So what the fuck do you want? Look, what happened between me and Gai is really none of your business. Quite frankly, I just want to forget it ever happened and move on, and most importantly, NEVER speak of it again. To ANYONE."

Asuma sighed. "Well, too damn bad for you, I don't think that will be an option this time. Not if you want to keep your friendship to Gai. Look, Kakashi, I know that you're a very private person, and that you don't want me involved in this. Fuck, do you really think I want to be involved? I don't wanna think about you two… doing that… together…" Asuma shook his head slightly, but violently, as though to rid himself of mental images, and to regather his thoughts. "But if what Gai said is true… you should really get help. That can be a huge trauma, and could affect your effectiveness on the field, and it'll sure as hell affect your relationship with Gai…"

Kakashi frowned in confusion. "What the fuck are you talking about, Asuma? I mean, yeah, being fucked by my best friend definitely wasn't something I planned on happening, but I wouldn't exactly say it was traumatic. Sure as hell not in comparison with all the shit that's happened to me in my lifetime. I mean, it's a little awkward to see Gai now, especially when the Sharingan is always happy to remind me of certain mental images that… never mind. But I think we both just need a little time to cool off and forget this ever happened, and things will go back to normal."

Asuma chuckled humorlessly, shaking his head at his friend's attempt at bravery… or stupidity, one of the two. "Look, Kakashi, I know as much as the next person that we're trained to deal with all sorts of torture, but it's one thing when it's an enemy, and another when it's a friend. Don't be stupid and act like it isn't a big deal. Look, I don't want Gai in trouble, but you need to take care of yourself. And I'm going to make sure you at least face this shit, because I'm not letting you go dying on us because you're too damn proud to get help when you need it."

Kakashi glared at the tanned man on his couch. "Again, what the fuck are you talking about, Asuma? Why are we talking about torture?"

"God dammit, Kakashi, Gai told me that he raped you!" Asuma instantly regretted his words as soon as they left his mouth, but it was too late. Kakashi's eyes went wide as saucers, and he was gaping at him. Asuma had never seen the man stunned or speechless before, and he realized that he was very glad about that. He had never seen him look so lost, and while he had always thought before that it would be funny to see Kakashi lose control, he realized now that it was really just… wrong.

"Wait, so you're saying that… that Gai thinks he raped me?" Asuma sighed and nodded. Kakashi groaned and dropped his head back against the wall he was leaning on. "FUCK!"

Asuma's eyes widened hopefully. "What do you mean, 'Gai thinks'?"

Kakashi's face was scrunched with irritation. "Fucking moron. Look, Asuma, Gai didn't rape me. As much as I hate to admit it, I fucking participated. Hell, I was the one that brought it farther than just an intense make-out session. I'm the one that started sucking his…"

"GAHHH! I don't want to know the details!" Asuma yelled. "Bad enough that I'm this involved. So, just to be clear, you're saying that Gai didn't rape you? That you were willing?"

Kakashi laughed a little and nodded. "For some ungodly reason, yeah. Why the fuck did he think he raped me? I thought we cleared all that up the last time we talked about this."

"Well, he didn't really remember what happened that night, and you were pissed and avoiding him. He didn't seem to know what else to think."

Although the situation wasn't really funny, Kakashi couldn't think of any other possible response to the situation but to laugh. "I guess that's Gai for you, isn't it? Always willing to take the blame in any situation…"

Asuma chuckled lightly. "Yeah, that's definitely him." He sighed, hesitating. "Look, Kakashi, I know you just want this to go away, but I don't think it's going to. I mean, for one, this is Gai we're talking about. When was the last time he ever let anything go? And secondly, this is something that you two need to work out. If not for yourselves, for the village. You guys make a great team, but if you let this come between you, how effective can you really be?"

Kakashi didn't respond, sitting chewing on the inside of his lip in his mask. Asuma smiled. It was insane how much being Naruto's sensei had changed him and allowed him to show even that small indication of any sort of real emotion. Asuma rubbed his hands together and stood quickly. "Alright, well, this has been good and awkward, so I'm gonna go. So… good luck, and please never involve me in your sex life again. Especially if it's with Gai." He shuddered.

Kakashi chuckled. "Wasn't really something I wanted to do in the first place…" he muttered, not moving as Asuma let himself out. He leaned back in his chair, folding his hands behind his head as he let out a sigh. He knew Asuma was right, but he didn't know where to begin. After all, this was his best friend. His male best friend. And the way he thought of him now was most definitely NOT the way he had ever thought of a man before. He sighed again. Looks like he had a lot of things to figure out.

Gai let out an exaggerated sigh. He stared at the ground between his feet as his elbows rested on his knees, leaning forward on the bench he had sat down on after his walk through the village (but he most certainly was not sulking, thank you very much! He was just… resting). He was still out-of-sorts about the situation with Kakashi, and didn't know what to do about it. He had been unsuccessful in every attempt to corner the man, and was starting to lose hope. After all, if the Copy Ninja didn't want to be found, he wouldn't be.

Just then, a presence appeared on the bench beside him. He jumped up and into attack mode, ready to assault the intruder, but… "Kakashi?" He blinked a few times before straightening slowly, wondering if he was really seeing his rival or all of the uncertainty had driven him insane and he was imagining the man's presence.

"Yo," was the response that came. Kakashi waved his hand casually, as he usually did, and Gai started crying all over.

"Dearest rival, I…"

Kakashi slapped a hand over Gai's mouth, looking around to see if anyone had heard him. "Let's go somewhere more private if we're going to discuss this, moron…" he hissed in Gai's ear.

Gai looked uncertain, and Kakashi narrowed his eyes at him. "What?" he growled.

Gai bit his lip, staring at the ground between them. "It's just that… I don't want to risk hurting you… again…" He heard a sigh, and then suddenly strong hands were gripping his forearms and the ground he was staring at had become a wooden floor. He looked around him quickly, blinking to dispel the disorientation of Kakashi's teleportation jutsu. He quickly stepped away from his friend, recognizing Kakashi's tiny one-room apartment.

Gai quickly stepped back from Kakashi, hands clasped tightly behind his back and eyes squeezed shut tight. Kakashi shot him an amused look before chuckling and turning to his tiny kitchenette. "Would you like some tea?" he asked, figuring since he had dragged Gai here semi-forcibly, he should at least be a good host, even though that wasn't exactly something he was known for.

Gai didn't respond right away. He took a deep breath, and when he opened his eyes, he stared at the floor. "Look, Kakashi, I don't think this is a good idea… I should go…"

Kakashi sighed. "Gai…"

Gai shook his head, finally looking up, his eyes full of determination. "No, Kakashi. I know that tone. Don't make excuses for my behavior. I am endlessly sorry for what I did to you, and wish that I could take it back, but I can't. So, I'm going to leave you alone so you never have to worry about seeing me again…"

Kakashi growled in frustration as he slammed the kettle down on the stove. "God dammit, Gai, will you just let me talk for one fucking second?!" Gai shot the man a startled look, before shamefully looking down at his feet. "Look, I don't know where the fuck you got the idea that you raped me, but you're an idiot if you believe that you, of all people, could ever do that to me! We both know that you would never do anything to hurt me. Plus, we've already had this conversation. Remember? Last time we talked, we determined that whatever the fuck happened between us was NOT one-sided."

Gai's eyes filled with hope momentarily, before clouding over with doubt. "I appreciate what you're trying to do, Kakashi, but you were too drunk to consent…"

Kakashi dragged a hand through his hair in frustration. "SO? So were you! Does that mean I raped you?! NO! Look, I know myself, and I know that even drunk off my ass, I would never let anyone do to me what you did unless I was okay with it. If you had tried to force yourself on me, you'd still be in the hospital because I would have kicked your ass into next week."

Gai dared to hope, dared to believe that his friendship with the Copy Ninja could continue. The sight of his watery eyes almost broke Kakashi's heart. "So… I didn't… hurt you?"

Kakashi let out an amused breath. "No," he said softly, looking straight into Gai's eyes before taking a deep breath. "If you had, would I do this?" he asked, stepping closer until he was just a hair's breadth away. Gai didn't dare move, his heart now thudding in his chest. He watched in fascination as Kakashi pulled down his mask, a little disappointed that he was too close to see the lower part of Kakashi's face. His disappointment, however, quickly faded when he felt soft lips press against his. His eyes closed and he pressed back, but the lips disappeared much too quickly for his liking.

His eyes remained closed for a minute, hoping that they would come back, but when they didn't, he opened them to see that Kakashi was still as close as he had been previously, but his mask had been tugged back up. The eye he was looking into was soft and warm, and he couldn't help but smile. Kakashi gave him a crinkle-eyed smile. "There, that's better. Now, remember, Gai, we talked about all of this already. I don't know entirely what THIS is, but it is mutual."

Gai's smile quickly became a frown. "Then why have you been avoiding me?"

Kakashi sighed, stepping back and turning away. "Because… Gai, you know I'm not exactly a touchy-feely kind of person. Relationships aren't really my thing. I'm much better with one night stands. And I needed to wrap my head around it, because this thing, with you? If this is anything, it's not a one night stand, and I don't think you're the type for friends with benefits. With our history, it would have to be a relationship. And to be honest, I'm still not sure I'm ready for that. I stayed away because I knew you would want to talk about it… or do something about it. Because that's how you are. You're a doer. If you want something, you go for it. You jump in headfirst. And I can't be like that. So I needed time to think, because…" He took a deep breath and turned to Gai, a sincere expression on his face. It was obvious that this conversation was not easy for him. He spoke quietly, so Gai almost had to strain to hear him. "You're one of the only people I have left. I need to know that this is the right thing to do before we do it. So, I need time…"

Gai swallowed, and nodded. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't disappointed, but he understood. After all, how long had he known his best friend? And he had always known about Kakashi's emotional scars. That was why he had always been so forceful with him, challenging him and forcing his company on the reclusive jonin: it was the only way to break down those walls. "How… how much time, do you think?" He cursed how hoarse his voice sounded, how it gave away his disappointment and fear that Kakashi would decide he just couldn't do this. That kiss, short as it had been, had only confirmed to Gai that he wanted to be more than just Kakashi's friend, but he would leave it if Kakashi wanted to.

Kakashi thought. "I don't know, but when I do, you'll be the first to know. I can't promise how this is going to go, but I can promise to be honest with you, no matter how hard it is."


	5. Chapter 5

"Kakashi!" Gai called out, waving his hand at his friend walking just a few feet away, heading towards him.

Kakashi looked up from his book, waving with his free hand. "Yo."

"So, what is my dearest rival up to on this lovely, youthful day?!" He put on a brilliant smile, very slightly dimmed by the unresolved situation between the two of them. It had been two weeks since they had last spoken about their night together, and Gai was going a little stir-crazy. He wanted to respect Kakashi's boundaries, but at the same time, wanted to explore their youthful passion for each other, as well. However, things had at least been able to seem normal between the two since their last conversation, so Gai tried to make himself content with that and hoped that Kakashi wasn't just placating him by telling him he was still thinking about it.

Kakashi just shrugged. "Heading to the Hokage's office for a mission briefing."

Gai laughed boisterously. "What impeccable timing! I am currently doing the same thing! Perhaps we are on the same mission!"

Kakashi nodded. "Certainly seems that way," he said drily. He looked up at his friend, and took a step back when he saw the familiar glint in his eye. "Gai, no…"

Gai just grinned deviously at his best friend. He took up a stance, feet spread, one hand resting on his hip and pointing at the silver-haired jonin with the other. "Rival, I challenge you to a race! First one to reach the Hokage's tower wins!"

Kakashi sighed as he pocketed his book. "I'm not getting out of this, am I?" Gai's smile widened as he took up a racing stance, shaking his head. Kakashi shook his head. "Alright."

Gai leaned in for an aerodynamic advantage, looking to his side to make sure his rival was ready. "Alright, then! Three, two, one, GO!" And just like that, the street filled with dust and the shouts of angry, early morning market patrons who had been blanketed by the fine layer of dirt as the two jonin kicked off, taking to the rooftops. They ran alongside each other, very closely, until Kakashi suddenly darted in front of Gai, nearly causing him to lose his footing on the roof and fall off. Rather than getting mad, he laughed.

"Is that the way you want to play it, rival?" he shouted. With that, he used his superior speed to get ahead of Kakashi and used his Leaf Gale to knock Kakashi's feet out from under him, succeeding in making the man tumble to the street below. Laughing, Gai continued along the rooftop path while Kakashi was forced to take to the streets temporarily until he could get through the crowd. Despite his best efforts, Kakashi was unable to catch up, and Gai won the challenge by flying through the Hokage's window a full 3 seconds before Kakashi, who was glaring at him. Gai just laughed. "You were the one who started the underhanded tactics, my friend. Don't blame me for beating you at your own game!"

Gai and Kakashi turned their attention to Tsunade and Shizune, who were staring at the pair as if they were insane. Tsunade, however recovered quickly, having been forced to get used to the odd pair and their strange relationship early on in her days as Hokage. She turned back to the mission scroll she had for them on their desk, shaking her head and chuckling slightly. "Alright, you two brats, listen up. I have an undercover mission for you. We've received word that there is a drug ring operating out of a town on the edge of the Land of Fire's borders. The daimyo has asked us to look into it, and shut it down. Kakashi, you will be disguised as an international criminal from the Land of Waves, interested in starting a business arrangement with the man, and Gai, you will pose as his bodyguard. You will gather intel on the organization, and when you have enough, eliminate their inner circle. We have already gathered the necessary supplies and disguises, so you can leave right away."

Gai and Kakashi nodded, taking the packs handed to them by Shizune. They headed for the village gates, Gai boasting about his win and Kakashi nodding along placatingly. When they had made it out of the village, Kakashi suddenly stopped. Gai turned, concern etched on his face. "…Kakashi? Are you alright?"

Kakashi took a deep breath. "Gai, I… I've been thinking about this… thing with us. And, I've decided that… you're right. We need to figure out what exactly this is if our friendship is going to survive it."

Gai's concern faded into a brilliant, ecstatic grin. "So, you mean…"

Kakashi nodded, staring at his feet. "Yeah, I think we should give it another chance…" Before he could finish his sentence, strong arms had wrapped around his torso and lifted him into the air as easily as if he were a rag doll, and he was crushed against Gai's muscular chest as he could hear the man crying. "Gai… It's really not…"

Gai put Kakashi down, but kept his hands on his shoulders, his face suddenly serious. "Don't you even go there, Kakashi! The opportunity to explore our youthful passion for each other is absolutely something to get 'worked up' over, as I'm sure you were going to so eloquently put it. I am just so happy to get a chance to explore this new step in our Eternal Rivalry!"

Kakashi was quickly backtracking, hands held up in front of him. "Whoa, whoa, no. This is not a 'rivalry' thing. If we're going to do this, no challenges in…" He shifted uncomfortably before muttering, "in bed…"

Gai's face fell a little, but he quickly recovered. "Of course, dear rival. We must first establish our companionship and clearly define our roles before we can succumb to the manly pressures of competition!"

Kakashi rolled his eyes. "Sure, whatever you say." He realized that he would have to deal with that later, but procrastination was one of his strengths.

Gai shifted then, clearly wanting to say something but he wasn't sure how. "What is it, Gai?"

Gai cleared his throat. "So, what exactly were you planning, then, for this opportunity for us?"

Kakashi looked thoughtful for a minute, before he gave Gai a crinkle-eyed smile. "Well, honestly, I hadn't really. I kind of just came to this conclusion last night while talking to Obito at the Memorial Stone." Gai nodded solemnly, knowing that pondering out loud to his dead comrades was how Kakashi thought through problems in his life. Kakashi seemed to have a thought then, though. "However, this mission could be perfect timing for us…"

Gai rolled his eyes, uncharacteristically impatient with Kakashi's generic statement. Sometimes the man could be truly maddening. He never just got to the point. "Care to share why that is?" he asked.

Kakashi smiled. "Well, it's just the two of us, and there's no way we'll make it to our destination before tomorrow. And, since there are no pairs available for guard duty, it will be expected for us to stay in a hotel tonight. A hotel that may just happen to have only one bed…"

Gai's eyes lit up. "You… you mean, you want to do it tonight?" His heart picked up, and his brain was slightly overcome with excitement.

Kakashi shrugged, looking as nonchalant as ever. Gai was vaguely irritated by Kakashi's ability to remain hip and cool when Gai was struggling to contain his nerves and excitement. "Well, yeah. Now that we've decided, no point in putting it off any longer, is there?"

Gai nodded. "Well, then, we should get going. I want us to get to a nice town where we can… enjoy ourselves!" He grinned from ear to ear, and Kakashi rolled his eyes, but Gai could tell he was smiling under his mask. And with that, they headed off to a hot springs about a half-day's walk away.

Kakashi and Gai sat on the side of the bed awkwardly, neither looking at the other. They stared at the wall ahead of them as Kakashi moved his lips inside his mask, both trying to think of something to say or do. Gai turned to Kakashi and opened his mouth, but no words came out, so he just closed it and turned back to face the wall again, his shoulders slumping in defeat. Kakashi's head raced through every copy of Icha Icha he'd ever read, searching desperately for something that could help him in this situation.

Finally, he sighed, coming up with nothing. "Well, this is awkward," he said drily to the wall. He heard a light chuckle to his left.

Gai smiled slightly at his lap. "Maybe we just need to get drunk. Seemed to work the first time," Gai joked. Kakashi raised an eyebrow at Gai's joking suggestion.

"You know, you may be on to something, Gai." He looked towards the Beast, and contemplated it for a moment. Gai turned to him, watching him think through the suggestion.

"Wh… you think?" Kakashi nodded, biting his lip thoughtfully beneath his mask. "Yes, but if we have to get drunk in order to do this, don't you think that proves that we are, in fact, not gay? I mean, if we can't even get close to each other without the presence of alcohol, it probably means something," Gai blushed, quickly backtracking.

Kakashi considered this. "Not necessarily," he said logically. "Alcohol inhibits the part of your brain that tries to conform you to social norms. Since being gay is not a social norm, it's possible that the amount of alcohol we consumed that night just closed off the part of our brains that would usually shut down pre-existing homosexual preferences that are usually being forced out of the conscious part of our minds," Kakashi reasoned.

Gai breathed out, his mind reeling slightly at Kakashi's logical assessment of their potential situation. "Or," Kakashi added quietly, "maybe we are gay, but we just aren't attracted to each other like that. Maybe it was just the alcohol that made us choose each other as partners."

For some reason, that made Gai's heart twinge, and he could have sworn he heard a slight sadness in his rival's voice, as well. He turned to look at his rival, who was staring resolutely into his lap. He forced himself to scoot closer to the man on the bed, but he didn't look up. Gai moved so he was sitting right next to Kakashi, their thighs touching, placing a thumb and finger on the slighter ninja's chin and bringing his face up so their eyes met. "I'm fairly certain that if I'm going to be attracted to any man, it's going to be you, Kakashi," he said quietly.

The two looked at each other like this for a minute before Gai's other hand reached up slowly. Kakashi's eye darted down to watch its movement. Slowly, the fingers got closer to the edge of the Copy Ninja's ever-present mask. Kakashi continued to watch the hand warily, though he didn't stop it, even as one finger slid inside the material and slowly, gently, pulled it down to pool around his pale neck. One grey eye returned to Gai's, but the taijutsu specialist wasn't looking at Kakashi's eyes anymore.

Onyx orbs roamed the lower half of Kakashi's face, taking in every detail, every scar. The pad of his thumb brushed over the beauty mark just below the right corner of Kakashi's mouth with surprise. He allowed both his eyes and fingers to explore the pale skin, finally feeling he'd had enough and bringing his eyes back to the wide grey eye looking back at him, shock and surprise evident within it as Gai brought his face closer. Neither looked away as Gai's lips gently brushed Kakashi's once, twice. He pulled away for just a second before pressing in again; this time, his mouth was a little more insistent.

His lips moved against Kakashi's, but the silver-haired ninja was frozen in shock. All he could do was stare into the depths of blackness, so familiar but yet so new. How long had he known the owner of these eyes, and yet not noticed that there was a hint of blue surrounding the man's irises? Kakashi mentally shook himself, and allowed his lips to part ever so slightly when Gai's tongue swept across them. The slick appendage slipped between them, running gently over Kakashi's perfect white teeth and dipping into his cheek before finally, slowly brushing over his own tongue.

Kakashi's body reacted instinctively, his eyes fluttering closed as Gai coaxed him into action. Their tongues ran over each other sensually, but the kiss remained slow, exploratory. Gai maintained dominance, but Kakashi's actions slowly became bolder, meeting Gai's teasing licks with gentle thrusts of his tongue. 'Who would have guessed Gai could kiss like this?!' Kakashi thought to himself. He could feel a burn slowly starting in him, and Gai was fueling the fire while also holding it at bay with gentle strokes of the back of two fingers against Kakashi's bicep while his other hand slid around to the back of Kakashi's neck.

Kakashi reached out tentatively, a hand sliding gently over Gai's hip as he scooted closer to the man's warm body. He pressed his chest against Gai's, sure the other man could feel his heart pounding. He took initiative and reached his other hand forward, placing it on Gai's thigh while the tips of his fingers drifted to the inside, and then up. He felt Gai's body jerk as the man gasped, and suddenly he was being pulled against the stronger jonin in a fashion that could hardly be described as gentle. The kiss, once teasing and exploratory, had become heated and almost desperate. Kakashi reeled from the sudden change.

Gai's hand slid from Kakashi's neck down to his waist, and he shifted their position so that Kakashi's back was laying on the bed, but his legs still rested over the edge. Gai leaned up on one elbow beside Kakashi, all the while not breaking the kiss. Gai's hand roamed over Kakashi's waist, his fingertips drifting under the hem of his shirt. Kakashi gasped and pushed Gai away, struggling for breath.

"Gai, wait… stop…" he gasped out, closing his eyes and letting his head relax against the bed as his mind fought to catch up with where his body was. At Kakashi's request, Gai reluctantly removed his hands from the slim body, making sure to hold them where Kakashi could see them. He didn't want to make the younger jonin uncomfortable, though he didn't really understand why he had been asked to stop. It had seemed that Kakashi was enjoying this as much as he was. After all, he was the one who had reached for Gai's thigh, whose fingertips had dipped so dangerously close to his erection. Was he really that bad at reading his friend? He blushed at the realization that 'friend' may not be the right way to describe their relationship anymore.

Kakashi's eyes were shut tight, panting slightly as he tried to catch his breath. His head was reeling. In such a short time, he had gone from thinking he was straight to now being in the middle of a heated make-out session with his very male best friend, and every kiss seemed like a promise that this would culminate in mind-blowing sex. He heard Gai's voice, gentle and laced with concern. "Kakashi… is everything okay?"

Kakashi fought to open his one good eye, looking up into his friend's concerned face. "It's just… don't you think… are we going a little too fast?" he asked, suddenly feeling awkward and nervous. Gai smiled kindly at him.

"I can slow down if you'd like. I want you to be comfortable." It may be hard, as Gai had already decided he wanted to do this, but he didn't want a situation like the last time they had been together to happen again. Kakashi needed to be OK with everything the spandex-suited jonin had planned for him, and he had already made several very detailed plans.

Kakashi watched Gai watch him. "it's just… what if…" Gai's finger rested against his lip, quieting his doubts with a gentle warning.

"Don't think so much, Kakashi. Just act. If it feels right, do it. If you really don't want to do this, then we'll stop."

Kakashi looked away, his nervousness showing. "Do you… want to do this?" he asked, a blush rising to his cheeks. He cursed himself; he was never like this. Why now?

Gai smiled gently as he brought Kakashi's chin up so their eyes met again. "I do," he said quietly, as his lips brushed over Kakashi's again.


	6. Chapter 6

Gai smiled gently as he brought Kakashi's chin up so their eyes met again. "I do," he said quietly, as his lips brushed over Kakashi's again. Kakashi didn't respond, but he didn't push him away either. Gai allowed his lips to travel over Kakashi's jaw and down onto his neck, his brows raising when Kakashi arched into him as his tongue traveled over a sensitive area. Gai smirked before attaching his mouth to the skin there, sucking and nipping at the flesh. He heard a low moan trapped in Kakashi's throat and attacked the curve of his throat with renewed vigor, determined to force Kakashi to let loose.

Kakashi's hands came around Gai's waist, pulling the broader ninja on top of him. Gai groaned when the motion caused his groin to rub against Kakashi's thigh, the pleasure driving him up onto his knees to straddle the slighter man. Kakashi panted and bucked his hips upwards, causing his arousal to press against Gai's stomach. Gai leaned down and brought his lips back to Kakashi's, drawing his friend's tongue into his mouth and sucking on it as his hands again ventured to the hem of Kakashi's shirt, drawing it slowly upwards over toned abs, giving the other man plenty of time to object. When it finally reached his chest, Gai pulled his mouth away and, sensing no resistance from Kakashi, pulled the offending object over his head and impatiently discarding it on the floor beside them.

He brought his mouth to a hard nipple, licking and sucking it as Kakashi gasped and threaded his fingers in Gai's hair. He moved slowly to the other side and Kakashi moaned, muttering Gai's name in a fit of desperation and need. The sound sent a thrill down Gai's spine, landing heavily on his cock and making him harder than he had ever thought possible, his arousal near painful in its acute twitch of demand.

Still, he wanted to make sure Kakashi had time to process all of this. At this point, he was desperate to take his friend, to claim him as his lover. But he couldn't fight the memory of Kakashi gasping at him to stop, the pleasure overwhelming him and making him mindless with need. So, to give Kakashi time to make sure this is what he wanted, Gai shifted his body as he allowed his kisses to drift lower until they reached the trail of silver hair that led underneath the waistband of Kakashi's pants.

With nimble fingers, he undid the fastenings, looking to Kakashi for confirmation before kneeling on the floor in front of him. When Kakashi focused his lusty gaze on Gai and nodded briefly, Gai made short work of pulling his pants off quickly, underwear in tow, Kakashi helpfully lifting his hips to rid himself of the constricting material.

Gai's eyes widened and his heart raced as he took in the sight of Kakashi's hard cock before him, reaching a hand up and grasping it reverently. Kakashi moaned, and Gai explored the pliant body in front of him with just his hand for a moment, learning what made Kakashi shudder and cry out.

He leaned forward, teasing the tip with his tongue and earning a gasp from his partner. Kakashi panted above him, begging. "Do that again, Gai…"

Gai smirked and did as he was asked, taking the head into his mouth and trailing his tongue around the ridge. Kakashi's hand fisted in Gai's hair, pushing down in a silent plea for Gai to take him all in. And Gai was nothing if not accommodating. His mouth slid down the length, sucking as he stabilized the cock with a hand at the base and pulled his mouth back up. He continued to suck Kakashi for a minute or so more, before the hand in his hair was suddenly trying to pull him off.

"Oh, God, Gai… please…" Kakashi moaned, arching his back as the man continued his ministrations. Gai smiled teasingly up at the writhing ninja.

"Please what?" he asked. In all reality, he was only partially teasing. He really wanted to make sure that Kakashi was okay with where he knew this was heading, and he wanted to make sure his friend and soon-to-be lover realized the severity of what he was asking before he complied.

Kakashi's head raised off the mattress, and one lust-filled grey eye met with black. "Fuck me," he said, his voice husky but confident. A blush rose in Gai's cheeks at Kakashi's vulgar language, but he moved to crawl up the man's body, pressing kisses to his heated skin as he did so. He finally reached his mouth, and kissed him gently.

"Are you sure, Kakashi? I was gonna let you…" he asked, concern reading in his expressive eyes.

Kakashi nodded, reaching for the bottle of lube off the nightstand beside him and handing it to the tanned ninja before pushing himself higher on the bed. "Don't wanna… need to feel you…" he managed to pant out. Gai watched his lover's face carefully for a moment before popping the cap, waiting for confirmation again before turning it and squirting a generous amount on three fingers. Kakashi spread his legs helpfully, watching Gai's face as the man's hand drifted down and started gently massaging the area with his slickened digits.

Kakashi gasped as one finger breached him, his eyes closing as Gai slid it slowly in and out. It wasn't painful, but it didn't feel normal, and Kakashi's body was reacting to the foreign feeling. When his body relaxed, Gai pressed a second finger into the hot opening, and Kakashi grimaced slightly. It was not quite painful, but not comfortable, either. Gai watched Kakashi's expressions as he prepared him, waiting until the man's body relaxed before leaning in to kiss him. He heard a deep intake of breath, and learned that even a searing kiss was not enough distraction for Kakashi to not feel the pain of his third finger entering. He was nervous to see how Kakashi would take it when he entered him fully, as his impressive girth would be more difficult to handle than three fingers.

Gai decided that he would have to distract Kakashi more fully, so he removed his fingers briefly. Kakashi gave him a heatedly questioning look, which Gai ignored as he slid down the slender body. Kakashi gasped as Gai wrapped his mouth around his cock, his hips bucking towards the wet heat that now enclosed him. "Oh, God, Gai…" Kakashi moaned.

Gai smiled to himself and continued sliding his mouth over Kakashi's length as he slid his fingers back into the opening. Kakashi hissed lightly, though Gai couldn't tell if it was pain or pleasure. Gai continued this as Kakashi moaned and writhed beneath him.

"Gai…" Gai smirked at the breathy moan that escaped the man when his fingers brushed the sensitive bundle of nerves inside the smaller man. He sucked harder and thrust his fingers in faster, hitting that sweet spot mercilessly. "Oh, God… I'm gonna…" Gai continued his actions, and thrust the man to the back of his throat as his cock twitched, his essence flowing down Gai's throat as the taijutsu specialist swallowed around the head.

Gai pulled his mouth off of Kakashi and his fingers out of him, sliding up his body. He opened his mouth to lightly tease his friend, but Kakashi wrapped a hand around the back of his neck and dragged him down to meet his lips in a passionate, forceful kiss. They kissed relentlessly until they both were struggling for breath, and they pulled back. Kakashi gave Gai the most smoldering look he had ever seen.

"Gai… fuck me. Now." The husky growl of his friend's command caused Gai's stomach to jump, and he instantly moved to obey. He climbed between Kakashi's legs and positioned himself at his friend's entrance. He watched Kakashi's face as he grabbed his member, pumping it a few times to slick himself before placing his head into the man beneath him. Kakashi's eyes closed and he grimaced in pain as Gai started to ease into him, stopping briefly every inch or so and watching Kakashi carefully, biting his lip nervously as he watched his lover's pain. Once he was fully inside of Kakashi, he allowed his eyes to close and reveled in the pleasure of how tight Kakashi was around him while he waited for the slighter ninja to adjust to his length.

After a minute or two, he heard Kakashi breathlessly mumble, "Gai, move… please…" He opened his eyes and was met with the delicious sight of Kakashi's mismatched eyes watching him, his face tense but the lust in his eyes obvious. Gai pulled back gently before thrusting forward again, and Kakashi cried out softly at the mixture of pain and pleasure. Gai paused for a second, not wanting to hurt his partner, but Kakashi pushed back on him, causing the broader ninja to moan as he completed another thrust. Eventually, Kakashi's pain clearly faded and Gai felt comfortable thrusting deep into the man below him, lifting his hips to better angle himself inside.

The two men moved in this way for a while, Gai thrusting deeply but passionately into the younger man sprawled beneath him as said man rocked back against the strong jonin. Gai watched him, thinking how beautiful he looked when he moaned so wantonly. Finally, the two felt their release building. "Gai… I need to…" Kakashi moaned out. Gai pushed Kakashi's legs out of his way and leaned down to press a deep kiss to the man, his hand reaching between them to stroke him as their new position allowed Gai to go deeper and slam that spot inside of Kakashi at just the right angle that had the silver-haired ninja screaming uncontrollably beneath him. It wasn't long after that Kakashi's body shuddered as he came again, his liquid coating their chests. Gai grunted passionately as Kakashi's orgasm caused the man to tighten around his cock, and Gai spilled himself into Kakashi with a few final thrusts.

Gai collapsed briefly onto Kakashi, supporting some of his weight on his shaking forearms while he caught his breath. Kakashi's head was thrown back and he was breathing heavily, still trying to recover as well. Laying like this for a minute or two, Gai finally gained enough strength to pull out of the man beneath him and roll to his side, eyes closed as his chest heaved. After another minute, he felt the mattress shift underneath him as Kakashi curled up on his side next to him, flinging his right arm and leg over the Beast's body. 'Who knew Kakashi is a cuddler?' Gai thought with a fond smile.

"Well," Kakashi sighed, his breathing finally returning to normal. "I don't think we can say that we're not gay anymore." His head rested on the broad chest of the man beneath him, a strong arm wrapped around his shoulders while it's twin rested against the headboard behind a head of glossy black hair. The man's chest shook lightly as he heard a gentle chuckle come out of him.

"No, I guess not," Gai muttered, his fingers playing gentle circles over Kakashi's bicep. The pair sat in silence for a few moments, digesting what had just happened.

"Or that we aren't attracted to each other…"

"Nope," was Gai's quiet response.

Kakashi started to feel uncomfortable as the silence stretched out between them. "So, what are we supposed to do now?" he asked into the air. When he received no response, he tilted his chin to look up at the Beast's face. Gai sighed.

"I don't know," he said quietly, staring resolutely at the wall ahead of him.


	7. Chapter 7

They both stared at the wall in front of them, while the silence between them stretched to an uncomfortable length. Despite the seeming comfort that would have looked obvious from the outside, with Kakashi's body still wrapped around Gai's, his head still resting on the bare, muscular chest, both men were deep in their thoughts. Each recognized that they could potentially be at an impasse in their relationship, that one wrong thing said could make or break this new potential that had been introduced to their friendship.

Gai took a deep breath, preparing to speak. He knew Kakashi wouldn't speak first. The man was, after all, an emotional train wreck, and much too smart for his own good. He had probably already imagined the million ways this conversation could go wrong, and knowing his friend's pessimism the way Gai did, he was sure Kakashi hadn't bothered to think about the ways it could go right. That was why Gai had always known Kakashi needed him: they balanced each other out. Kakashi helped him see reason when he got too far into his own idealistic world, and he brought Kakashi out of the darkness and into the realm of possibility.

"Well," Gai started. "The only way this can go is for us to be honest with each other, and ourselves. After all, you wanted that as much as I did. Right, rival?" The hopeful desperation in Gai's voice was enough to break your heart.

Kakashi was silent for a long time, making Gai nervous. He was just about to speak when he heard Kakashi sigh. "As much as I would like to deny it, yes," he said, so quietly Gai thought he had imagined it at first. Gai's heart twinged a little at the reluctance of his friend's admission, but when the silver-haired jonin kept speaking, siting up and shifting so his legs hung over the edge of the bed, he forced himself to listen intently to Kakashi's words. Gai followed him, more to make the conversation seem less one-sided than anything. "As much as I would love to make some excuse about how this is just us experimenting because when we were teens and should have been experimenting like this, we were on the battlefield taking the lives of other teens like ourselves, I can't. Because you're right, we need to be honest with ourselves if we're ever going to figure out what the hell this is. So, I need to accept that whatever this is, I wanted it. I wanted you," he added quietly.

Gai tried not to dwell too much on the warmth in his chest that bloomed at hearing Kakashi say that. Instead, he schooled his features so as not to scare off the flighty jonin. "So, what do we do now?" He used his best shinobi voice, relieved when Kakashi's tense shoulders relaxed at the thought of treating this like a mission.

Kakashi nodded, thinking. "Well, I think that we need to define to each other what this is. I mean, it's not like this is just a one-night stand or anything. We've been best friends for years, and we don't want to lose that just because we got stupid drunk one night and fell into bed together and realized that we really like fucking each other. So, I guess the point that matters here is what we want out of all this. So… would you want to do this again?" he asked, gesturing between them and the bed.

"Yes," Gai answered, quietly but with no hesitation. When minutes had dragged on with no response from Kakashi, he ventured a glance over to the private ninja. "Do you?" he asked, the fear and nervousness obvious in his voice.

Kakashi laughed lightly, and Gai's heart pounded. "You know, Gai, if it were anyone other than you, and I do mean _anyone_ , I would say no. But I have entirely too much respect for you to lie to you. So… yes, I do. I want to do this again."

Gai couldn't contain the smile that spread across his features. "So… does that mean we're in a relationship then?" he asked hopefully, turning his head toward the Copy Ninja, who stared at his lap.

"No," Kakashi said, shaking his head. Gai realized his hands were trembling in his lap. "No, I can't…" he whispered.

"Okay, okay" Gai said reassuringly, putting a comforting hand on Kakashi's shoulder. He had waited a long time for Kakashi to come around before, he could be patient again. And this time, Kakashi's passion for him would be expressed whether he could say it or not in the form of their carnal pleasure, so he was sure it would be even easier to wait this time. "We'll… figure it out as we go. We just need to be open with each other, communicate. Right?"

Kakashi looked at Gai, took in the hopeful expression and optimism that his friend had always contributed to their relationship, and smiled. "That sounds good."

Gai's shoulders relaxed, and after a minute, he let out a huge yawn. "Wow, I didn't realize how tired I was…" he said, and Kakashi chuckled a little.

"Yeah, me too. So, skip the shower and just go to sleep?"

Gai nodded. He lay back down on the bed, and his heart nearly burst with joy when Kakashi resumed his earlier position, curling tightly around his body and nuzzling his unmasked face in Gai's neck. He couldn't resist kissing the top of Kakashi's head, and smiling when he heard a soft sigh of contentment. Curled together, they easily drifted off into a content sleep.

xXx

Gai jerked awake in the early hours of the morning to the sound of the door opening, and his eyes shot open as he scanned the hotel room. It took him a moment to remember the events of last night, but he smiled when the agreement he and Kakashi had come to came to mind. However, his happiness was short lived when he realized that said man seemed to be nowhere to be found. He called out cautiously, hoping Kakashi had snuck into the bathroom to brush away his morning breath like the new… whatever… that they were, but his heart sank when he got no response. He flopped back down to the mattress in disappointment, but found that he couldn't go back to sleep when his normally morning-hating lover had taken off with no indication as to where he had gone.

Gai heaved a sigh, opting to take a shower and wash off the sweat and mess of last night before his lover returned, not wanting to further embarrass his friend by reminding him of their time together, which he clearly regretted, despite their talk afterwards. He cursed himself for allowing them to have such an important conversation while they were still in their post-coital glow. He fought his urge to cry while he showered, knowing that he would not be able to contain his emotion through the end of this mission if he let it go now. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't hear the room door open.

He stepped out of the shower, preoccupied as he toweled himself dry and wrapped the towel snugly around his waist. He took one last quick glance in the mirror as he smoothed his hair, sighed, and stepped out of the bathroom.

Only to find what could only be described as a romantic and exquisite breakfast feast scattered around the room. Every surface was covered in every sort of breakfast food, from rice to fruit to waffles. His eyes widened at the sight, and when they landed on Kakashi standing in the middle of it, smiling with his one visible eye crinkled into a smile as he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, tears welled in his eyes. "I didn't know what you were hungry for, but…"

Kakashi's words were cut off with a groan as his new lover tackled him into a bear hug that knocked them to the bed, Gai's weight heavy on top of the smaller man, and he could feel tears soaking the fabric covering his shoulders. He grinned sheepishly as he gently patted Gai's back comfortingly. "Maa… Gai, it's really not that big of a deal…" he said, trying to calm the now blubbering mass of muscled man that was pressed against him, and he could feel his dick twitch interestedly as he allowed his fingers to trail over the still-damp, bare skin of Gai's back.

"No big deal, rival? This… this is the most thoughtful thing you've ever done… and for me… And here I thought you regretted last night…" the larger man blubbered.

At that, Kakashi's fingers paused in their trailing and he looked down at his lover, a frown forming under his mask. "Regretted it? Gai, why would I agree to do it again if I regretted it?" he asked.

Gai pulled back to look at his face, and he blushed. "I don't know, I just… I woke up and you were gone, and I know you have some issues with intimacy…"

Kakashi forced back mild irritation at Gai's lack of faith in him, knowing that - to an extent, at least - he deserved it, and allowed a half-forced chuckle instead. "Gai, I meant what I said last night. I… I know that I'm not exactly Mr. Monogamous, and I don't want you to expect that of me right now, but… I'm not going to say things I don't mean, no matter what the situation. If I say I'm down, I'm down. And if I find myself no longer interested in continuing this, I'll tell you."

His expression was so earnest that Gai burst into tears again, and Kakashi sighed as he pushed against heavy shoulders. "Maa… Gai, the food is getting cold…"

With that, Gai sat up, wiping his eyes and the two of them dug into the hearty breakfast. They were surprised by how hungry they actually found themselves, and Gai couldn't help but blush when he thought of how they had exerted all of their strength. By the time they were both full to bursting, there was little of the feast remaining, and of what they hadn't eaten, most of it was non-perishable, and they packed it away to eat on the rest of their journey.

"So…" Kakashi said, after the last plate had been cleared and they were both showered and packed.

Gai gave the room a final glance, making sure that they hadn't left something behind. He turned to Kakashi. "So, I guess we should get going…" he replied.

"Yeah," Kakashi said, nodding as he stared into the room. After a minute of standing there, silent, he added, "Or…"

Gai turned an interested face towards him, and he looked nonchalant as he continued. "I mean, we did wake up much earlier than anticipated… We don't technically have to be on the road for another two hours…"

Gai raised an eyebrow at his rival. "Oh, really? So, what do you suggest we do?" he asked teasingly. The two stared meaningfully at each other for a moment before dropping their bags and meeting in the middle, lips crashing heatedly against the others as they tugged at clothes and stumbled towards the bed.

When they finally stepped out of the shower two hours later, they were both so tired and sore that they contemplated staying another night, but unwilling to face Tsunade's wrath at arriving at their destination a solid day late, they reluctantly left the haven of their hotel room, sighing sadly as they stepped out the door for the last time.


	8. Chapter 8

Kakashi panted, one hand digging into the rock behind him while the other clutched desperately at a kunai, one if his last resort weapons. He cursed this mission, and the situation he found himself in now… he had lost track of Gai some time ago, and was forcing himself not to consider the possibilities of that. He was dangerously low on chakra, and the enemy kept cornering him and forcing him to use more to escape her wind-style jutsu. Kakashi determined that if he didn't finish this battle within the next two attacks, the enemy would finish him off.

He scowled as he thought back on the mission, which had started off so well. When they had arrived in town, he had quickly managed to get an introduction with the leader of the gang, Gai playing the perfect bodyguard. They both wore disguises that were physical in nature, rather than a henge, because it allowed them full use of their chakra for sensing. Kakashi had smoothly inserted himself as a potential investor, just as they had planned, and it seemed their mission would be short.

What they had not counted on were the rogue ninja in charge of security at the storage facility. One look at Kakashi and Gai, and they were made, their chakra easily acknowledged by the sensory-type ninja despite how tightly they had it pulled around themselves. Within minutes, they had found themselves in the heat of battle, and the mob of gangsters they had killed had been many. Fortunately, most of them had been civilians, and so they had been dealt with more-or-less in one blow.

The real surprise had been the boss' training in taijutsu, his ability surprising both of them. However, his skill was nothing compared to Gai's, and he had been disposed of early on, along with the purely defensive sensor. The remaining ninja, however, had been more tricky. They were dealing with a wind-user, and a weapons expert and a water-user that looked like they may be siblings. Those two are the ones who had lured Gai away from Kakashi, and now, all Kakashi wanted to do was finish off this bitch and run to his lover.

He felt a chakra presence dance flittingly through the edges of his peripheral field, and readied himself for the attack. He opened the Sharingan, despite the drain on his chakra that he knew may be the end of him, but he was surprised to find that the presence was not there to hurt him, but to help. Gai had apparently finished off his own opponents and come to help Kakashi with his fight. Kakashi grinned and leapt out from behind the tree, closing his Sharingan to give himself a better chance of survival. He nodded to Gai, who nodded grimly and ran off in the opposite direction.

Kakashi moved into the wind user's field of vision, despite being unable to see her. "You know," he drawled, eyes roving lazily over the landscape, "Some would argue that it's bad form to kill from the shadows."

The woman stepped out from behind a tree and sneered. "Oh, yeah? Well, I think all would agree that it's even worse form to lose." With that, she threw a mini tornado at him, which slowly grew in size as it passed her. Kakashi jumped to the side, narrowly avoiding the devastation, only to see her eyes widen in shock as blood gurgled out of her mouth, Gai's powerful kick to the back of her neck having snapped her spine clean in half. Kakashi had a fraction of a second to smirk before his eyes widened as well, and the figure leaping out at him from the trees came into view. He met eyes of cold grey steel: the weapons user, angry at Gai for taking from him his sister, and intent on taking from Gai what he loved. Kakashi wondered what had given them away. The sword of the weapons user that he had suspected to be dead was placed just right that it would slide easily through his midsection, and though Kakashi tried, he found that he didn't have the strength to move out of the way.

He threw apologetic eyes to Gai, trying to say in only the second of life he had left all of the regret he felt in his heart; that they would never get to explore what they could have been, that Gai would be forced to watch his lover's death, but most significantly to Kakashi, that he was leaving Gai all alone. Kakashi remembered that feeling, being all alone and feeling like the world is out to get you. And he remembers how Gai was the one to pull him out of it. He closes his eyes as he waits for death, and vaguely, he wonders who will be the one to pull Gai out of it. He finds himself hoping that Gai finds peace with this new partner, and smiles to himself.

That smile quickly fades as he hears a gurgling sound in front of him, and the blow that he expects doesn't come. His eyes fly open and his eyes flood with relief when he sees Gai just inches in front of him, his attacker's pale face caved in by the fury of Gai's nunchaku. Kakashi feels himself fading, and he almost uses the last of his energy to say something, until Gai falls into him, knocking them both to the ground. Kakashi glances down curiously at Gai, a frown visible through his mask. But his heart pounds in fear as he sees the katana that had been aimed at him sticking squarely out of Gai's abdomen.

His brain finds a moment of horrified clarity, and he fights the exhaustion he had been about to succumb to. Without him to tend to the wound, Gai will die, gracelessly and meaninglessly in this field outside a drug storage facility, surrounded by the corpses of their attackers. Kakashi fought, his eyes fluttering as his hands struggled to apply pressure to Gai's wound. He tried to call to Gai, to ask him to stay with him, but found he didn't have the energy to speak. Gai looks at Kakashi with wonder, and smiles sadly, his hand raising weakly to cup Kakashi's cheek. "Ka-kashi…" he gasps out. "I'm… sorry…" Blood drips from Gai's lips as he speaks, and Kakashi feels tears flow unbidden from his eyes.

He struggles again to speak, to beg, to pray to every god he knows for Gai to just live, but Gai gasps in pain, and his eyes slide shut. Kakashi's minds races in panic, his hand struggling to press against the wound in his lover's abdomen, but he is so weak already, and his vision is clouding around the edges… Kakashi guesses that he hasn't more than a moment before he, too, succumbs to his injuries. He spends his last moments observing Gai's face, peaceful despite the circumstances. If it weren't for the blood dribbling from his lips, he could be sleeping. Gai's face starts to fade from his view, and Kakashi closes his eyes and focuses on how Gai feels in his arms.

He takes a shuddering breath and the last thing he can think as he slips into unconsciousness is: at least I won't be alone in death.


	9. Chapter 9

Hey, everyone. So sorry I haven't been posting, I've been busy and have been writing primarily on my phone, which makes uploading to Fanfiction a pain. I promise I'm going to try to upload here more often, but if you want to guarantee you're getting the latest, head over to my AO3 account of the same name. I've also got some other KakaGai fics up over there, so head over there and check them out! I am not planning on uploading them here as most of what I write is deliciously smutty and that is frowned upon here (plus I think Archive is much more user friendly, especially since I primarily use my phone since I'm never at my computer anymore!) But while it is not in my plans to transfer those over right now, I am not abandoning this story on this account. So, without further ado, have a massive chapter dump to get us up-to-date! Enjoy!

* * *

His nose wrinkled, the awful smell of bleach invading everything he knew. His mind slowly faded into consciousness, and he was quickly regretting it as he registered the aches that lingered all over his body. He recognized that he was in the hospital (he had awoken here often enough for that smell to be permanently etched into his awareness, but he struggled to wake, trying to remember how he had gotten here. He remembered the mission, the warehouse…

He gasped, his eyes flying open. Gai. What had happened to Gai?! He attempted to sit up, tugging on wires that were both stuck on and in him, and tried to pull them off in frustration, but they wouldn't budge. He would love to say the hospital had learned a great jutsu to keep him here, but even he acknowledged that he was probably just too weak still. But that didn't stop him from trying to climb out of bed when he didn't see Gai anywhere around him.

Vaguely, part of his mind registered the frantically beeping heart monitor and the alarm sound it was letting off, alerting half the hall to his panic. The screaming alarm summoned a nurse, the head nurse, Kakashi noted somewhere in the back of his mind, who forcefully pushed him back down in bed, even as he struggled against her. "Now, if you try to leave this bed, I will sedate your ass, elite jonin or no," she said, one eyebrow raising above lavender eyes in a terrifying, matronly expression. Kakashi could do nothing but nod.

She turned to leave, but he reached for her, grabbing onto her wrist. His throat felt raw and he could already feel himself drifting back into the world of sleep, but he had to know first. He forced the single most important word in his life out of his lips. "Gai…" he managed to croak.

He saw the woman's eyes warm, her face softening into a smile as she nodded. "He's fine, dear. He just needs some rest now, like you." She patted his hand, and Kakashi felt relief wash over him as he succumbed to the darkness that loomed.

xXx

When Kakashi woke again, he found that there was another presence in his room. He tensed initially before recognizing how familiar the presence was, and he smiled. He forced his eyes open, despite their tired reluctance, and turned his head, taking in the beautiful sight that was his sleeping lover. His eyes raked over Gai's form, and though he wished he could see the man's radiant smile and youthful energy bounding out of him as normal (dear God, did he really just think that? He truly had been spending too much time with Gai…), he was content to watch the steady rise and fall of his chest, for now.

As he was about to go back to sleep, he heard Gai clear his throat, and his eyes shot open again. He turned to see Gai's eyes flutter open. Despite having the assurance of Gai's breath and heart monitor to assure him that he was truly alive, Kakashi felt his heart practically explode with relief upon seeing the man wake up. He was barely able to contain his joy, and struggled to force himself up in bed. At the sounds of his movement, Gai turned his head, though it looked like the action caused him a lot of pain. He grinned when he saw Kakashi, but it quickly turned to a wince as he shifted wrong.

Now that he had turned a little, Kakashi could see bandages rising from above the blankets to halfway up his chest, no doubt originating from the sword wound in his stomach. Kakashi felt a twinge of guilt, still feeling responsible for Gai's near-death, despite knowing there is nothing he could have done to stop the passionate and loving man from throwing himself in the way of any attack aimed at Kakashi. After all, protecting each other was what they did, what they had always done, and Kakashi would have done the same thing for Gai had the situation been reversed. When Gai coughed and a little blood came up, however, Kakashi panicked. He was reaching for the button to call the nurse before Gai's hoarse voice stopped him.

"It's alright, Kakashi… they told me that I would probably do this for a few days," Gai told him, his voice weak and rough. Kakashi hesitated with his hand on the button but didn't press it… yet. Gai shook his head weakly. "The sword… it punctured my lung. I inhaled a lot of blood, so my body is still trying to expel the last of it. You needn't worry, rival, I cannot allow myself to die until I have truly surpassed you…" he said, smiling with less than a significant fraction of his normal brightness.

For some reason, Kakashi found himself irrationally angry at Gai's joke. He forced himself to stand and managed his way to Gai's bed, leaning on the side of it for support. Gai looked shocked and slightly horrified, and opened his mouth to protest, but Kakashi slapped his hand over it.

"Do you have… any idea how scared I was?" Kakashi forced out, his own voice hoarse and quiet as well, though he was glad he was able to convey his anger through his tone despite his weakness. "God dammit, Gai, you almost died! I THOUGHT you died!" Gai was clearly concerned by the danger he could hear in Kakashi's tone, and recoiled slightly, his eyes closing as though willing to accept whatever punishment Kakashi considered fitting for him.

Instead, he was surprised to feel Kakashi's head come to rest on his chest, his spiky silver hair tickling his nose, and he opened his eyes to find that Kakashi had climbed onto his bed and snuggled up against him, tucking himself neatly against Gai's side on the narrow bed. He stared in disbelief for a moment, until he felt a drop fall on his chest. He looked up to the ceiling to find the leak, only to realize when another hit that it was tears… and they were coming from Kakashi! Kakashi was crying… for him… It made him feel both sad, and warm inside.

"I'm sorry, Kakashi," he said, his voice somber. "I didn't wish to hurt you, but… I couldn't do nothing." He grabbed Kakashi's chin and forced the man to look up at him. Tears welled in his own eyes as he saw them sparkling in his lover's. "I can't live without you, Kakashi…" he whispered.

Kakashi swallowed hard, and then pulled down his mask as he pressed his lips to Gai's in a gentle way. Gai returned the kiss slowly, intending to keep it chaste, but it quickly got out of hand. Soon, the two were panting and Kakashi moaned, pulling himself up in an attempt to straddle Gai, ignoring his body's protests. When Gai pushed him back down to the bed, he looked up at his lover, clearly disgruntled. Gai laughed slightly, wincing as the pain shot through his injured lung, and shook his head.

"As amazing as having you right now sounds, dearest rival, I could not… We are still injured and weak, and I do not wish to hurt you further. Plus, that pain may be awkward to explain to the nurses when they come in to heal you again, and you know they've given us that Hyuga nurse just so that we can't escape, so she'll know…"

Kakashi pouted, but sighed and accepted Gai's reasoning. He was right… Kakashi really didn't want to explain the pain in his ass for the matronly Hyuga nurse. He rested his head back down on Gai's chest and sighed again. There was so much he wanted to say to Gai, but expressing his anger had taken a lot more out of him than it should have, reminding him just how weak he still was. It was probably a good thing that Gai had stopped him; if he had tried to have sex with Gai in the state he was in, he probably would have passed out halfway through, and THAT would have been REALLY awkward to explain to the nurse. Instead he closed his eyes and curled tighter against Gai, allowing the rise and fall of his chest to lull him back to sleep.

After he fell asleep, Gai stayed awake as long as he could, staring down at silver hair that was surprisingly soft despite its appearance. He still found it hard to believe that this was truly happening, that all of this could be his. As he thought about it, watching his sleeping lover, a warmth grew in his chest that he was unfamiliar with, but it wasn't uncomfortable. He wasn't able to reflect on this for long, though, before the drugs in his system started taking effect and Kakashi slowly faded from view, leading him into a sleep filled with pleasant but confusing dreams revolving around a certain silver-haired someone, and Gai would later struggle to figure out just what they meant.


	10. Chapter 10

"So, how are things going with Kakashi?" Kurenai asked. Gai jumped, as the stealthy woman had managed to completely sneak up on him while he had been watching Kakashi. They were at a party thrown by their mutual friend, Raidou, and Kakashi was busy chatting with the host and his boyfriend. Gai smiled as Genma laughed at something Kakashi said.

"Wh-what do you mean?" he stuttered out as he realized what the woman had asked him.

Kurenai laughed. "Oh, come on. You guys are about as sneaky with your relationship as Asuma and I. Plus, you talked to him, remember? And of course, he told me."

Gai's shoulders slumped, and he sighed. He didn't really remember, to be completely honest, but he was aware that it had happened. "Oh. Well, they're… good. We… have a good time together."

Kurenai raised one eyebrow. "A good time? Is that really all that it is?" she asked. Gai nodded enthusiastically to cover up the unexplained twinge in his chest that had been inspired by her words. She shook her head sadly. "You should end it, then."

Gai's eyes widened and he gasped. "What do you mean? I mean, how would you know?"

Kurenai smiled sadly at him. "Look, Gai, I may not understand what drew the two of you to each other. Hell, I didn't even know you were gay…"

Gai laughed. "Neither did we until… all this happened."

Kurenai bit her lip in thought. "Anyway, what I do know is that friends with benefits relationships never work. One person always inevitably wants more, and let's face it, it's not going to be Kakashi. You're setting yourself up for heartbreak when he either doesn't or won't acknowledge that he loves you back."

Gai spluttered at her. "Wh-what do you mean? I'm not in love with Kakashi!"

Kurenai again raised an eyebrow at him. "Oh, really? So you weren't staring at him with doe eyes like a lovesick puppy when I came over here?"

Gai stiffened. "I don't…"

Kurenai scoffed. "Oh, please, Gai. Lie to yourself all you want, but you won't convince me. I saw it. It's exactly how Asuma used to look at me, before he realized he could have me. But I'm serious. You need to think about yourself, for once in your life. If Kakashi can't or won't love you back, you're only setting yourself up to get hurt. Please, at least think about it." And with that, she gave him a sympathetic glance and walked off to join her boyfriend, off smoking on the patio.

Gai turned back to Kakashi, watching him with a critical eye. Of course he loved Kakashi; they had been best friends for years. But was he in love with Kakashi? The man was lazy, read those perverted books in public, and frequently ignored or refused to acknowledge Gai and his challenges.

On the other hand, Kakashi had been one of the first to acknowledge Gai as having the potential to be a strong shinobi. Simply by accepting that first challenge, he had kept Gai from losing hope and encouraged him to pursue his dreams and, in doing so, had given Gai the wonderful life he had now. His friends, his beloved students, none of that would have happened if he had given up on his dreams, and though he didn't like to dwell on it, he had been close to doing so for a time, until Kakashi had acknowledged him and made him feel like he had a chance. In addition, while it may not be obvious to others, Kakashi was loyal, compassionate (almost to a fault; in fact, Gai believed his over attachment issues were what caused him to distance himself from others as he was afraid of losing them after he came to care for them), and he was a strong and handsome shinobi. He was well-liked among the villagers, and rumor had it that he was being considered for Hokage following Lady Tsunade's inevitable retirement. He was a smart match, really, great husband material…

Gai gasped. He had just thought of Kakashi as husband material. Husband?! When had that even become an option?! He and Kakashi hadn't even talked about where they were going with this little thing of theirs, let alone marriage, though Gai was fairly certain that marriage was not on the table in Kakashi's mind.

Gai turned his attention back to the shinobi in question, watching him as he interacted with their friends. He frowned as he remembered back to the dark ANBU days for Kakashi, grateful to see that all of the pain and misery he had suffered had not left him hopeless and desolate forever. Gai liked to think he had been a big part of bringing Kakashi back to them, but of course, the man never really opened up about that time. If he was being completely honest, Gai didn't really think he wanted him to.

Now, as Gai watched Kakashi, talking and laughing with their comrades, his smiles genuine and laughter not forced. He thought about how far the man had come since his painful teenage years, and realized he may have been wrong. He was smiling like a mad fool as he watched the man, and his heart faltered. He realized now what Kurenai had seen first: he was absolutely and unequivocally in love with his best friend.

Gai sighed. What the hell is he supposed to do about that?

xXx

Kakashi was aware Naruto was staring at him. He could feel the boy's eyes on his back. He sighed and chose to ignore it. When the boy was ready, he would say what was bothering him. And he did so as they stopped to make camp, after Sakura had gone to find some herbs. The boy's eyes were practically burning a hole in his back, he could feel it.

Kakashi sighed. "Yes, Naruto?" he asked, turning to the boy. The blood rushed to the blond's cheeks, realizing he'd been caught staring.

"Oh, it's nothing, Kakashi-sensei," the boy said quickly, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. Kakashi looked back to the fire he was getting set up. "It's just…" He paused at the sound of the boy's voice.

Naruto looked around the clearing to see if Sakura had returned yet. Seeing that she hadn't, he spoke quietly. Kakashi was slightly surprised; he didn't know the boy knew how to be discreet. "It's just that I've heard some of those… rumors that you warned me about now. About you."

Kakashi stiffened, his heart pounding, the log in his hand trembling as it hovered above the wood stack he was building, frozen in midair. He had known this would happen, that the people in his circle would eventually start to hear the rumors, that even they might wonder… after all, he was well-known for keeping even his closest friends at arm's length. He tried not to think about how getting too close to his best friend, both physically and emotionally, was what had him in this conversation.

"I was just wondering if they were true," Naruto continued quietly, watching his sensei's back for a while. When he received no response, he continued. "I mean, I wouldn't care if they are, sensei. Honest, I wouldn't. For some people, that's just how it is, right? I mean, some people like boys and some people like girls, right?"

Kakashi forced his breathing to normalize and let out a sigh to try to cover his panicked response. He didn't look at the blond, just returned to building the fire. "Yes, Naruto, that's sometimes how it is," he said, knowing that even Naruto would notice that he hadn't answered his question.

Naruto waited another minute to see if his sensei would continue. When he didn't, he asked again quietly, "So is it true then? I mean, I don't want to force you to talk about it if you don't want to, but I just thought… I mean, if that's how you feel, it's got to be hard to try to keep that from everyone all the time. To try not to be yourself. I thought maybe you'd want someone to talk to about it…" the boy trailed off.

Kakashi sighed as he turned to face his extremely understanding and surprisingly compassionate student. "Honestly, Naruto, I've never given it much thought (a lie; it had been all he'd been able to think about lately). If you ask me, a shinobi's life isn't really destined for a happy ending. I've never seen much room for romantic interactions in my experience (at least that part was true). I guess if it works for some people, great. I just don't think I could ever be one of those people."

Naruto nodded sadly, watching his teacher return to building the fire for a few moments before he returned to setting up the tent. From across the campsite, he heard, so quiet that he thought he might have imagined it, "Thank you, Naruto." By the time Sakura had returned with the herbs, the tents were set up and the fire started. The conversation had certainly not been forgotten by either party, but had been pushed to the back burner. At least for now. Kakashi got the feeling that Naruto was not about to let this go, and Naruto knew he was right. After all, everyone deserved to find true happiness, right?


	11. Chapter 11

Gai walked to Kakashi's apartment, heart fluttering in his chest. It had been nearly a week since his conversation with Kurenai, and he had been avoiding his lover ever since. Kakashi had found him the day after when he returned from his mission with his students, seemingly surprised that Gai hadn't sought him out. Gai was sure he had hurt the other man's feelings, but he hadn't been able to handle the onslaught of emotions that had hit him when he saw the man. He wasn't proud of it, but Gai was nothing if not honest, so if anyone asked, he would admit to them that he had run away. Given Kakashi a lame excuse and bolted.

His head had been a mess ever since, and he had so wanted to have it sorted by the time he spoke to Kakashi again, but he had quickly realized that he would be unable to solve this dilemma on his own without knowing how Kakashi felt. Knowing Kakashi as he did, he was aware that the other would not seek his presence again after being rejected when he did. Despite his outward appearance of confidence and bravado, Kakashi's past had left him with a lingering fear of rejection, which caused Gai to wince when he realized he had only confirmed by his cowardice. This was why Gai was seeking Kakashi now, but he was still extremely nervous. Kakashi might still be upset with him for the other day, and his rival wasn't the most open man on his best days.

Still, when Gai arrived at his destination, he knocked without hesitation, knowing Kakashi would sense him and know if he balked. Footsteps approached the door, and with each approaching step, Gai felt as though his heart pounded louder. When the door swung open, Kakashi's eyes widened in surprise. "Gai? I, uh… I didn't expect you…"

Gai raised an eyebrow. "Were you expecting someone else?" he asked, his heart momentarily clenching with jealousy.

Kakashi laughed embarrassedly, his hand absent-mindedly scratching the back of his neck. "No, I just… never mind. Come on in," he said, stepping aside and gesturing Gai in with a wave of his arm. Gai nodded his thanks as he stepped past the man, unable to resist the urge to pass closer than necessary just to be close to the man he loved. He could have sworn he saw Kakashi shiver out of the corner of his eye. Gai stepped automatically to Kakashi's living room after removing his shoes, soft footsteps following him. He turned, and he and Kakashi awkwardly regarded each other for a moment.

Gai was about to start the conversation he so desperately wanted to have when Kakashi suddenly blurted out nervously, "Would you like some tea?"

Gai's brows furrowed together. While offering tea to guests was customary in their culture, he and Kakashi had reached a point in their friendship years ago where they no longer offered one another anything; if they wanted anything while visiting each other's homes, they simply retrieved it. Gai hoped this was just Kakashi's nerves and not an indication of a backwards slide in their relationship. As such, he nodded, hoping that making tea would give Kakashi the time he needed to gather himself from Gai's apparently unexpected visit (though why Kakashi would be surprised, Gai didn't know; he had been showing up unannounced since they were kids, even more since they had begun this fling of theirs).

When Kakashi returned with the tea, however, it seemed he had indeed gathered himself. He looked much more confident than when he had left for the kitchen. He set the tray on the table, and the two men situated themselves on either side of the kotatsu. Gai picked up his tea out of respect and took a sip before starting the conversation. He smiled. Kakashi had remembered that he liked his tea with lots of sugar, and had made it so despite his own aversion to all things sweet. Seeing Gai smile, Kakashi tentatively returned the smile before slowly lowering his mask to drink his own. Gai breathed a sigh of relief that he didn't put up his usual genjutsu to make it appear as though he was still masked.

Gai set his tea down before taking a deep breath. "Kakashi, I am here because… Because I wish to talk to you," he started. He closed his eyes for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "I think that we need to discuss what… What's been going on between us."

Kakashi nodded slowly. "I… Think you're right."

Gai sighed in relief. "I… I want more than this. If we're going to be together, I want to be together ."

Kakashi just stared at him. "Gai, I… I don't… I mean, I'm not really the relationship type…"

Gai shook like his head. "No, Kakashi. I'm sorry, I can't accept that. Everyone wants to find someone, to find love. It's the reason we fight for our village, the reason we fight for peace."

Kakashi sighed. "Gai, I know you're all about inspirational speeches and the power of youth and love and all that, but…"

Gai gripped his head in frustration, standing and turning away from the Copy Ninja. "Look, I know this isn't the ideal situation. I realize that neither of us ever could have planned this happening. I mean, who would have thought we would get drunk and have sex, or that it would lead to us falling in love with each other? But still," he turned to the other man, only to see Kakashi's one good eye wide as a saucer. "Um… did I say the wrong thing?"

Kakashi just stared at him. He watched the silver-haired man's brain work overtime as he stared. "You… I… we are not falling in love! We can't!" he yelled.

Gai sighed. "I figured you might object to that. Look, Kakashi. I'm not good at hiding my emotions like you are. And the fact of the matter is I'm in love with you. And I'm tired of trying to hide that because you're the emotional equivalent of a quadriplegic. I'm tired of pretending that what I feel doesn't exist. I won't do it anymore. I'm in love with you, Kakashi. I want to give us a try. And I'm not going to let this go until you at least face the fact that we both know you have feelings for me, too. Until you admit that, I will continue to be here, and will continue to bug you," he said loudly. Then, his voice got quieter, sad, as he approached the Copy Ninja, who jumped to his feet and backed away from him until he hit the wall. He laid his hand on the smaller man's cheek, pressing a gentle kiss to his masked lips before continuing when the man didn't press back. "If, after you admit that you have feelings for me, you still don't want us to be something more, I'll accept that. I'll back off. But I can't leave it like this. I can't handle knowing that I didn't try my hardest, that I didn't do everything I could to prove how much I love you. How much I need you."

He pulled down the man's mask, pressing another gentle kiss to his bare lips and pulling back just a breath as he continued to speak. "I need to know that I did everything I could to show you that I want it all. I want to go to sleep next to you, wake up next to you, I want the potential for us to be lovers, not just friends who occasionally share a bed." He punctuates his words with kisses that traveled across the other man's jaw to his now-exposed neck as he finished making his point. He kissed and nipped at Kakashi's jaw as the younger man gasped lightly.

He pressed his muscled body against the other's, and could feel his lover growing hard against him. He smirked into the man's throat as his talented mouth continued down the contour of Kakashi's throat, nipping and sucking where he saw fit as the man arched into him, a light moan trapped in the back of his throat as his teeth clenched to contain it.

Gai chuckled seductively. "Now, that won't do at all, my love," he whispered huskily into the other man's ear. Biting the lobe for emphasis, he continued. "I want to hear all of those wonderful, wanton sounds that I know you can make. I love hearing your pleasure as I fuck you senseless." His last words were hardly more than a breath, so quiet that Kakashi could barely hear them, but they sent his body into fits of heat. His lungs didn't want to work, his heart was racing. His head was full of the other man as all he could think about was the pleasure of Gai's talented mouth.

That is, until a stealthy hand slipped into his pants and circled him, pumping slowly as he gasped. The older jonin took advantage of his shock to slide his tongue into his mouth, taking dominance as his tongue wrangled with the other's. He choked down another moan as Gai's thumb teased over his head. Gai chuckled again, before Kakashi found himself suddenly spun so his cheek was pressed into the wall, Gai's chest a muscular wall pressed tightly against his back. Hot breath ghosted over his ear as Gai whispered to him, "I will make you moan for me."

Kakashi couldn't help the whimper that escaped him at that moment. Between the stimulation of Gai's hand on his cock and the deep, husky voice purring in his ear, the ninja nearly came then and there. His brain was yelling at him to struggle, to get away. Telling him this contact was far too intimate as Gai's hand slowly stroked him, his lips leaving teasing kisses that were barely felt along the length of Kakashi's shoulder. He knew that he was risking getting hurt. But his body didn't listen as it pushed back against Gai, his hips bucking forwards in time with the other man's thrusts. He could feel Gai's smirk as his lips returned to his throat. And just like that, out it came. The moan he had tried so hard to suppress tore from his throat, a loud, breathy release of his lover's name. He felt Gai's hips press into him, his arousal pressing against his ass, and he moaned louder.

Gai groaned at the contact. "How about if I show you all the love I have for you, right here, right now, and we can talk later, hm?" he whispered, his tongue darting out to lick the shell of Kakashi's ear, making the smaller man shudder. Kakashi jolted at the thrill that sent down his spine, desperately wanting the older man to make him feel like he belonged to Gai, and Gai alone. And that's exactly what Gai aimed for, making short work of Kakashi's clothes, stripping the man naked in record time before slipping a slick finger inside of him. Kakashi couldn't help but wonder when he had grabbed lube, but that thought quickly flew from his mind when Gai crooked his finger, and he arched and moaned as his sweet spot was rubbed mercilessly.

"Oh, God, Gai…" he moaned, pressing back against the man's hand as another finger joined the first. "Gai… please, I can't wait… Just… take me… I'll be fine…"

Gai looked at his lover, his confidence fading slightly at Kakashi's eagerness. "Are you sure?" he asked nervously. Kakashi nodded, his eyes closed and teeth clenched as Gai's fingers scissored inside him. That was all the encouragement the Beast needed. With his free hand, he freed his straining erection, not even bothering to disrobe as it would take too much time and he didn't want to waste another minute. He removed his fingers from his partner and slid his slicked hand up and down his shaft a few times, moaning at the stimulation, before he placed himself and eased in. Kakashi hissed in pain, and Gai froze. "Kakashi… are you sure about this? I can…"

His words were cut off by a moan that completely drowned out his partner's cry of pain as Kakashi pushed his body back all the way, forcing Gai into him up to the hilt and delighting in the sensation of fullness. Kakashi stood for a moment, panting as he waited for the pain to subside and his body to adjust. When he was able to speak, he pressed both of his palms against the wall, pulling forward and rocking back into Gai. The Beast's hands flew to his hips uncertainly as pleasure shot through him. "I'm sure," he said, turning a lopsided grin to his lover. "I thought you promised to fuck me senseless?" he teased. A chill shot up his spine at the growl the Beast made then before pulling back and slamming into him so hard that Kakashi saw stars.

Gai set a relentless pace for them after that, his eyes closing as he pounded into his lover mercilessly. Kakashi was using his hands to push back towards him, so he took it upon himself to pin the man's wrists, effectively immobilizing him, pressed tight between the solid brick in front of him and the wall of muscle rocking behind him to push the throbbing cock deep inside. Kakashi whimpered at the thrill of being completely helpless as the man took what he wanted and used his body for his own pleasure, his moans accompanying the older man's grunts as his thrusts became deeper, more powerful. He could feel his own release building in his stomach, and he moaned as a particularly hard thrust straight into his prostate came that close to making him cum, but he needed just that much more stimulation.

"Gai, please…"

"What do you need, Kakashi?" came the husky whisper from the man behind him as thrust after thrust rocked his body.

"Please… touch me…" he whimpered, feeling Gai's smirk against his neck but not caring as that hand started pumping him again and his vision went white, his cum splattering over the tan hand and the wall in front of him. Seeing his lover's essence stain the red brick in front of him, Gai gave a low growl, releasing Kakashi's cock and turning the slighter man's face to his in an aggressive kiss as he emptied himself into his lover with just a few more thrusts.

His hips continued rocking into the slighter man's even after he was spent, gentle gasps slipping from the man in front of him as he slowed his thrusts to ease them both down from their high. His hips finally stilled, and Kakashi pressed his forehead to the wall, panting hard. Gai smirked and pressed his lips to his lover's temple. "I love you," he said quietly, before pulling free of his lover's body and stepping away to get a towel to clean their mess.

When he returned, he smiled to himself to see Kakashi hadn't moved. He admired the sight of his lover's naked body for a moment, before he realized his partner's shoulders were shaking with silent sobs. He quickly rushed to the man, spinning him and wrapping his arms around his shoulders as he pressed Kakashi's face into his chest. "Hey, hey. None of that," he said quietly, kissing the top of the man's head. "Did I hurt you?" he asked, thinking back on what had just transpired between the two.

He sighed with relief when he felt Kakashi's head shake against his chest. He smoothed the man's spiky hair over the side of his head. "Then what's the matter?" he asked gently. Kakashi just stood in his lover's arms, sobbing.

He held him until the man's body stopped shaking, and then he pulled back enough to see his love's face, his hands resting on his shoulders for support as his inquiring black eyes roamed Kakashi's face for any sign of what may be the problem. Kakashi looked down at the floor, his lips barely moving as he muttered a response. "What was that?" Gai asked gently.

Kakashi sighed as he looked at him. "Nothing," he mumbled. Gai gave him a stern look. Kakashi sighed again. "I said, you shouldn't love me. I don't deserve anyone's love," he said, so quietly that Gai had to strain his ears to hear. His heart clenched at Kakashi's despondent tone.

"And what makes you think that?" he asked softly, but sternly. He knew what his friend and lover's answer would be, but he wanted the man to say it out loud, as he probably never had. He loved this man, and had been determined to help him heal since they were teenagers, despite everything. Now, he felt he actually had a shot.

Kakashi pushed his large hands off his shoulders, moving to step back into his boxers, still tangled around one ankle. "Forget it, it doesn't matter."

Gai placed his hand on his chin, forcing mismatched eyes to lock with his own. "It matters to me," he said softly.

Kakashi glared at his friend. "Because everyone I love dies. There. Are you happy? Do you want to be next?" he asked, his voice cold. Gai opened his mouth to speak. "No, Gai. Don't. You just don't get it. I don't love you. I can't love you." His voice was mechanical, methodical, like back in his ANBU days.

Gai's heart sank, but then he heard the whisper that clearly wasn't for his ears. "I can't afford to lose you, too…" The man's shoulders slumped at his whispered admission, and suddenly Gai's arms had pulled the man to the sofa and had him cuddled up in strong, warm arms, sitting across the Beasts' large lap. Kakashi looked up for a second, shocked, but did not object to the strange position, instead just sinking into his lover's arms and allowing his misery to wash over him.

"I promise you, Kakashi. I'll never leave you. No matter what happens between us, no matter how this goes, I will always be there for you."

"You can't promise that," Kakashi whispered, his voice haunted and full of anguish. "I said that I would always protect them, and I couldn't… he said he'd never leave me, too, but he did… he left me here alone… they all left me here alone…" With that, the tears flowed freely, both from Kakashi and from Gai, though the older man did everything necessary to prevent Kakashi from knowing that. He held the man, watching his pain, until he fell asleep. His chest heaved with a deep sigh as he watched the man's face, anguished even in sleep, his fingers clutching almost painfully in the material covering Gai's chest. He needed to figure out how to heal Kakashi's pain before he could ever have the relationship he wanted with the emotionally-stunted jonin. The question was, how?


	12. Chapter 12

When Kakashi awoke, he found himself bound tightly by two strong arms wrapped around his chest, holding his own arms like a straightjacket. He quickly realized that he was laying in his bed, though he didn't know how he got there. If the arms that were tightening around him every time he struggled were any indication, Gai had carried him here. He smiled as he scooted closer to the man, feeling his scent envelop him. He heard a light grunt of approval from the Beast, and tilted his head to see if he was awake, but couldn't see his face. If he was awake, he was certainly in no hurry to move or speak, which would be unusual for Gai, so Kakashi assumed he was still asleep.

Though the fact that he was immobilized went against everything his shinobi training had ever taught him, he couldn't bring himself to feel uncomfortable or scared. In fact, it was quite the opposite: Kakashi knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he had never been safer than when he was here, in Gai's arms.

He closed his eyes to catch another hour or two of sleep, before he felt Gai's fingers start to trace light lines down his biceps. He realized he must have been mistaken about Gai being asleep, as the movements were very clearly defined and not the slowly-forming movements of someone who's just woken from a peaceful slumber. "Are you awake?" the Beast asked quietly. Kakashi just nodded, not wanting to ruin the peace of their moment.

Gai sighed peacefully, his arms tightening briefly around Kakashi, causing the smaller man to smile like a mad fool. He had never felt so content or at peace in his life, and he wished it never had to end. But, like all good things in his life, it never lasted as long as he wanted.

He felt Gai's arms start to unwind from around him, and though he clung to the strong biceps, Gai was successful in pulling away. Kakashi was turned so that he was facing Gai, and draped an arm around the man's broad hips, still needing that contact though he could tell that Gai wanted to have a serious conversation.

"Kakashi…" Gai paused, his hand reaching out to stroke the side of his lover's face. "We need to talk about this…"

Kakashi sighed. "I know. Just… not now, please?"

Gai looked at him skeptically. He hadn't been friends with the Copy Ninja for nearly 20 years without learning that he was a master procrastinator. "Then when?"

Kakashi sighed again, knowing he'd been caught. "Tonight… over dinner. Just… can we just have this? Right now? Just enjoy it?" In case things don't go well tonight. The words were left unsaid, but Gai could feel them aching in his chest.

Gai let out a deep breath, and smiled at his love. "Okay. Tonight." He pulled Kakashi into his arms with a gentle kiss, pulling back to smile brilliantly at him before they settled back in and drifted back to sleep in each other's arms.

xXx

That night, Gai and Kakashi found themselves at a nice sushi restaurant. Gai wanted to discuss their situation right away, but Kakashi managed to wheedle him into taking a walk in the park after dinner and discussing it there, claiming that 'a nice place like this is hardly the place to discuss such intimate matters'. Gai had gotten irritated with Kakashi's continued procrastination, but knowing as stubborn as he was, he knew he'd get that conversation after this, one way or another, so he'd let it go. They had an enjoyable evening, talking and smiling coyly at each other throughout the meal as Gai's foot rubbed absentmindedly against Kakashi's ankle under the table.

As soon as they paid and left, however, an awkward silence fell over the pair as they automatically directed their feet towards the park for the aforementioned promised conversation. Gai wasn't sure how to start the conversation without scaring Kakashi away, and Kakashi didn't want to have it at all, so he was no help. Eventually, Gai broke the silence as they were walking over the small wooden bridge over the creek that divided the park in half.

Stopping to stare out over the water, watching the way the moonlight played over the gentle waves, he sighed. "Kakashi, you know we have to talk about this."

He chanced a glance over to his rival to see the man was as stone-faced as ever. He couldn't say he was surprised. "I don't know that that's something I know at all, Gai."

Gai rolled his eyes, turning his body to face his lover. "Look, Kakashi, I know that loving someone is scary. I denied my feelings for you for so long because I was too afraid to recognize them for what they were. I'm still a little afraid of them. Afraid you don't feel the same, afraid that even if you do, our line of work will take you from me all too soon. Afraid that it's not enough… there are many reasons to be afraid, Kakashi, but none of them are good enough to deny ourselves what we want."

Kakashi turned to him, sneering. "And who's to say that's what I want? Who's to say I didn't just want to see what it would be like to fuck a guy, and you were convenient."

Gai let out a deep breath, trying to conceal the hurt that was welling inside him. "Kakashi, you said yourself, there's more to this than curiosity. We're attracted to each other…"

"Who cares? We're shinobi, Gai. It's not like we get a choice in anything in our lives. Why should our partner be any different." Kakashi didn't look at Gai, pointedly ignoring the wounded look on the other man's face. He continued quietly. "Look, Gai, I'm sorry. What we've been doing is fun, but… that's all it can be. I can't have more."

Gai quickly stashed the hurt to mope over later. "What do you mean you can't, Kakashi? I'm offering you more! I'm offering you everything!" he said, louder than he had planned.

Kakashi glared at him, his voice low. "I mean, I can't. I can't risk it."

Gai groaned, his head falling back in frustration. "Kakashi, we're shinobi; we face life and death situations every day without batting an eye, but our emotions are something that are absolutely terrifying to us. I get that…"

Kakashi still wouldn't look at him, and his voice hinted at a dangerous tone. "Do you, Gai? Do you get it? Do you get that I've lost everyone I ever loved?! That they're all gone, and they left me alone?! Do you get that I would hate you if you did, too?"

Gai's eyes widened, and he stared at Kakashi's tense back, looked to the pale hands clenched into fists at his side. "Kakashi…" he whispered, taking a step forward and reaching for Kakashi's shoulder. "I would never leave you, you know that…"

"They didn't want to, either…" Kakashi bit out. Gai's hand stopped its journey inches from making contact with his lover's body. "The people I love die, and I'll never forgive myself if I lose you, too. It would be my fault… It's always my fault…" Kakashi whispered, his voice tortured.

"Kakashi…" Gai said, reverently. He reached for Kakashi's shoulder again, but Kakashi pulled away.

"No, Gai. I can't. Especially with you. I mean, your 'greatest jutsu' is suicide, plain and simple. Why can't you see that I just can't take that risk? You talk about our jobs taking me from you too soon one day? You act like we both don't know for a goddamn fact that you're gonna die in a blaze of glory one day protecting someone you love, and leave me alone again?! I've never denied your feelings or your friendship because I don't think you're good enough, Gai. I just can't overlook the fact that you have an expiration date, and it's much more likely to come sooner rather than later. I can't fall in love with you, just to lose you in the blink of an eye. I… I just… I'm gonna go… I'll see you around…" With that, Kakashi walked off, forcing himself not to look back at the man that he couldn't admit,even to himself, that he had already fallen for. He wandered aimlessly, his feet tracing the familiar path, and before long, he found himself in front of the memorial stone. He sighed as he looked at it, sat down on the ground before it, and searched for the three names illuminated by the light of the pale moon.

"Well, guys… what am I supposed to do now? I know you'd have something to tell me, sensei… and I could really use some of your positivity, Rin. Hell, even the swift kick in the ass you'd give me would be appreciated, Obito…" He chuckled, but his face quickly sobered. He was so lost in thought that he didn't hear the footsteps approaching.

"So it's true then… the rumors." Kakashi jumped at the sudden appearance of the voice, and a scowl overtook his face. He did not like to be surprised, and he was in a bad mood already.

"Where the hell did you come from?" he growled.

The blond laughed, blue eyes sparkling as he sat. "I was walking through the park when I heard you and Gai-sensei coming. I like walking through the village at night… it's peaceful." The blond smiled wistfully, before shaking himself from his thoughts. "Anyway, it sounded like you might like some privacy, so I…"

"Spied on us?" Kakashi supplied irritably.

Naruto chuckled embarrassedly, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly. "Well, I didn't mean to, believe it… it's just that you two were in my way of going home… I didn't want to interrupt you, it seemed like the conversation you were having was important. I tried not to listen, but… I heard enough."

Kakashi sighed, then laughed humorlessly. "Well, that's what I get for having a private conversation outside in a ninja village, I guess."

Naruto blushed, and laughed again. His face quickly gained a serious quality, though, and he took a deep breath. "Look, sensei, I know it's none of my business…" Kakashi's eyebrow raised, and he prepared to lecture the boy on holding his tongue when his speech wasn't needed. After all, he was a ninja… discretion was a job requirement (and of course, it had nothing to do with the fact that the boy might say something he didn't want to hear). Unfortunately for him, Naruto beat him to it.

"I think you're being an idiot!" Naruto said, flinching away and closing his eyes as though he was afraid of retaliation. When nothing happened, he opened his eyes, and saw his sensei staring wide-eyed at him. He quickly backtracked. "I… I mean, you're a genius and all, but… it's pretty obvious that you love Gai-sensei," Naruto continued quietly. "Why are you trying to fight that? Why push him away when he can make you happy?

Kakashi heaved a sigh, turning back to the stone. "Naruto, you're still young… you don't understand. The people I love die. And I can't lose anyone else…"

Naruto didn't even hesitate. "But, you love me, right? And Sakura… and Sasuke, and Sai. I mean, sure, not like that , but you do. And whether or not you tell him, you love Gai. So, going by your logic, Gai is in danger anyway, we all are… Wouldn't you rather get to be happy with him, if he's going to die anyway?"

Kakashi said nothing, astonished by the wisdom the boy espoused. Apparently, those two years with Jiraiya really had taught him something. Before Kakashi could speak, however, he continued. "Plus, it's not your fault, ya know? I mean, I know it feels like that sometimes, but… but it's not. We live a hard life, us ninja, and it's full of pain and death. Honestly, what good are we really doing ourselves if we don't take the good, along with the bad? Yeah, it hurts when we lose people, but I know I'd rather have the memories… That way, it's kinda like they're always with you, ya know?"

Kakashi turned and stared incredulously at his student, who was leaning back on his arms, his eyes closed and face upturned toward the night sky. If Kakashi didn't know any better, he'd swear he was sitting here with his sensei himself. Naruto's words made sense, but… "I'm afraid…" he whispered. He didn't mean to say it, but the words just slipped out

Naruto didn't seem surprised. "Yeah, I think that's how ya know it's big… When you're afraid, that means you have a lot to lose. But… the more scared you are, the bigger the payout will be." Naruto sat up straight, nodding his head confidently.

Kakashi just stared. "How can you be so sure of that?" He cursed himself for sounding like a teenager, but Naruto's confidence was just so persuasive, he couldn't help but be drawn in.

Naruto shrugged, laughing. "Dunno, I just am. I guess I just think that nothing worth having was ever easily attained."

Kakashi stared, speechless, thinking over what Naruto had said. His student watched him for a minute, then stood and grinned. "Well, I'm beat… Thanks for talking with me, sensei…" he called over his shoulder as he headed back towards the village.

Kakashi just stared after him, unable to stop repeating Naruto's words in his head. Could it be that Naruto was right? But… what if Kakashi listened to him, and he wasn't? Kakashi sighed, and fell back on the ground in a defeated huff. He had a lot of thinking to do.


	13. Chapter 13

So… I'm so sorry that I haven't posted this! I've actually had the story finished for a few months, but posted it on Archive of Our Own and forgot to finish it here. That being said, this will probably be the last story I post here. I find AO3 much more user friendly (plus they are more receptive to my more-often-than-not NSFW stories), so I have switched to that as my primary publication method. If you want to continue to follow my new stories (and there are already plenty), find me on there. BeTheCheeto. Thanks!

Kakashi raised his hand, but couldn't bring himself to knock. His palms were sweating, and he was more nervous than he could remember ever having been before in his life. He had been ambling through town all night thinking about his conversation with Naruto, and had ultimately decided he needed to speak with Gai again. Now, as the beginning rays of early morning illuminated the street, he took a deep breath and steeled himself, forcing himself to knock. He heard footsteps crossing to the door, and his heart pounded louder with each step closer the man got.

When the door opened, Gai didn't actually look at his guest, gesturing Kakashi inside with a tired wave of his arm. Kakashi swallowed hard, unable to stop himself from wondering what Gai's behavior could mean for their relationship, for their friendship. He turned to Gai when they reached the living room, and thought about all that he had planned to say to him, but found that the words just wouldn't come. He was staring at Gai, bathed in the light of the rising sun streaming through the windows, and all he could think was how perfect this man was, how sweet and gentle, and all the many ways he could fuck everything up and destroy this innocent, caring and thoughtful creature.

"Gai, I…" he started, his voice thick.

Gai held up a hand to stop him. "No, Kakashi. It is I who should be sorry. I… I've known you for a long time. I know your fears and your pain. I should not have asked you to give to me that which I know you cannot. I cannot possibly expect you to. After all, I have never managed to prove myself your equal in the many years that I have called myself your rival. I should know that you cannot possibly want someone as inferior to you as myself, but I promise I have challenged myself to become better…"

He was cut off by a finger pressed to his lips, Kakashi finally managing to break out of his shocked stupor to stop the ridiculous nonsense coming out of his lover's mouth. "Gai… I've long thought of you as my equal in all things, and in many, much better than I could ever be. You can keep up with me in any challenge, kick my ass in at least half of them, and still come out the better person and promising that you'll do even better next time. Compared to you, everything about me is inferior," he said quietly.

Gai stared in awe, tears starting to leak from the corners of his eyes. "You… you really mean it, rival?" he asked around Kakashi's finger. His voice betrayed his tears, and Kakashi chuckled lightly, shaking his head.

"Of course I mean it, Gai," he said quietly, moving his hand from in front of Gai's lips to cup his cheek. He watched the older man carefully as he brought his lips to Gai's, his eyes instinctually closing as he reveled in the feeling of those warm, slightly chapped lips against his own.

Gai groaned when Kakashi deepened the kiss, wrapping his arms around slim shoulders and losing himself in the moment. Before either of them knew what was happening, they were making their way down the now-familiar path to Gai's bedroom, shedding clothes as they went. By the time Gai had pushed Kakashi down on the bed, Kakashi was down to his pants, and Gai's suit was bunched up around his waist as their bare chests pressed together, Gai occasionally reaching between them to pinch Kakashi's nipples. Gai climbed atop him, losing himself in the feeling of rightness that settled over him at the now-familiar sequence of events.

When Kakashi moaned beneath him, however, he remembered the events of the past 24 hours, and he hesitated. Kakashi didn't seem to notice at first, too focused on working both of them out of the confines of their pants. When he had Gai's cock in his hand, he frowned upon realizing that despite the situation, he didn't have the man's full attention. "Gai?" he asked, his hand slipping off his crotch.

Gai shook himself, giving Kakashi a rather fake smile. "I am fine, rival. Just distracted, that is all."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "If you wanted to make me believe you, that sure as hell isn't how to do it."

Gai shook his head. "It's fine. Let's keep going," he said. He reached down and unfastened his lover's pants, and when Kakashi's cock was out, pressed his hips down against it, and Kakashi seemed willing to push his mood off to deal with at a later time. Meanwhile, Gai thought about the conversations they had had in the last 24 hours, and debated on what he should do even as he thrust his hips against Kakashi's.

Gai ground his hips against Kakashi's again, their hard members rubbing against each other and causing the younger man to groan in frustration. Despite his internal struggle, Gai couldn't help but smirk as Kakashi bucked up against him, desperate for release. He wrapped a hand around Kakashi, who gasped and bucked up. Gai frowned, pinning Kakashi's hips down with his knees as he started pumping him at a torturously slow pace.

"Unh… Gai, please…" Kakashi begged, burying his face in Gai's neck. Gai swallowed hard, still unsure whether this was a good idea or not. In truth, he wasn't trying to torment his lover, but to buy himself time to decide if he could do this right now. He didn't want to end up back at square one, where he had an amazing relationship with Kakashi in the bedroom but nothing changed outside of it. However, that tantalizing pale body was moaning and writhing beneath him, and it took all of his control not to claim the beautiful man that he so desperately wanted to be his, and his alone, in all the ways he had learned Kakashi loved.

With great effort, he pulled his hand from Kakashi, and heard a whimper of protest in response. He pulled back, moving to sit up, and read the confusion in Kakashi's lust-filled eye. "I'm sorry, Kakashi… I don't think I can do this…" he whispered, unable to meet his lover's eye.

Kakashi stared in disbelief as the haze of lust cleared, and he realized what Gai was saying. He struggled to control his breathing, to will his erection to go down, but with Gai sitting in front of him, his broad muscular chest shimmering with a faint sheen of sweat, he quickly gave that up for lost. He sat up with effort, staring down at the floor between his feet and he and Gai sat in silence for a moment. When Gai stood, his mind raced, desperately trying to land on anything that would make the man stop putting his jumpsuit back on. Anything that would make him stay. "I'm sorry…" he choked out. He heard Gai pause in dressing, and struggled to keep going. "I'm so sorry, Gai… I know that I hurt you, and I understand if you can never forgive me, but… I can't lose you…"

There was a pregnant pause before Kakashi felt the bed dip beside him. He didn't dare to look up at Gai, but could practically hear the wheels turning in the man's head. "You'll never lose me, Kakashi," Gai said. "After all, I promised eternal rivals, right?"

Kakashi's eyes closed, and the tears he had been fighting back leaked out. So that was it, then. He had ruined it, any chance they had at happiness. And he had no one but himself to blame. "I can't, Gai…"

Gai looked up at his best friend, shocked. "What do you mean…"

Kakashi shook his head. "I can't just be friends anymore… Now that I know what I'm missing… I'll always want more. Always want _this_ ," he gestured between the two of them, and the bed on which they were sitting. "I can't just be friends."

Gai swallowed thickly. "And I can't just be this, Kakashi. I can't be your… your fuck buddy and not want all of you."

Kakashi's startled gaze rose to meet Gai's sad eyes. "Gai, I… I could never think so little of you to want nothing from you but sex. I… I would be lying if I said that I proposed having our first time, sober at least, on that mission didn't have a purpose. That way, if it didn't go well, or if I wanted an out, I could say it was just a mission fling. I know that I'm notorious for not keeping lovers around, but I couldn't bear the thought of hurting you by starting what you thought was a relationship if it didn't mean the same to me. And at first, I thought that's all it would be. That we would screw around on that mission, come home, and things would go back to normal." Gai schooled his features to contain his hurt, ready to stop Kakashi. He couldn't bear to hear anymore.

"That was what I thought I wanted. But then, we got home, and… I hadn't had enough of you. I still wanted more. I wanted _you_. It was all I thought about. And I tried to fight it, tried to tell myself that it wasn't what I thought it was. But I knew then that this was more than that, more than just sex, more than I've ever had with anyone. And it scared me, but I wanted you so badly that I wouldn't even classify it as desire. It was need. I _needed_ you, and not just your body. So I gave in, and let us become something. And that time… it meant more to me than I can say. Knowing that you were all mine was the most thrilling and satisfying feeling I've ever experienced. But… it didn't fix me. When you told me you loved me, I… I panicked. The only people who ever told me they loved me are dead; one of them, I killed with my own hands. And so, I did the only thing I was good at; I ran. I saw the love and the future that you were offering me, and all I could think was… I don't deserve it. I've hurt too many, failed too many people to deserve your love. To deserve you."

Gai was quickly in front of him, kneeling on the ground and holding Kakashi's face to force one tear-filled grey eye to lock with forgiving black. "Kakashi…" he whispered. "I didn't know… how could I have been so stupid. I'm sorry, 'Kashi." He wrapped his arms around the now trembling silver-haired man, holding him tightly. "I love you, Kakashi. Nothing will ever change that." And Kakashi clung to him, tears soaking the spandex on his chest. Gai pushed the body beneath him back down onto the bed, curling his naked lover up against him and holding him until they both drifted off into a much-needed sleep, the peace of the day and their newfound happiness allowing them both better rest than they'd had in a very long time.

When they woke several hours later, Kakashi found Gai still holding him and playing with his hair as he stared down at him, his eyes full of adoration. Gai gave him a beaming smile when Kakashi blinked sleepily up at him. "Morning," Kakashi muttered.

"Good morning, my love," Gai responded, his voice deep and full of affection.

Kakashi laid his head back down on Gai's chest, listening to the man's steady heartbeat as he enjoyed the peaceful silence. He sighed contentedly. "What are you thinking about?" he asked quietly.

Gai chuckled lightly. "You know me too well, my love." He paused, seeming to think very carefully about his next words. "I've been thinking of something I would like to try… It's something that has been on my mind for some time, but now that we are an _official_ couple, I think we should try it."

Kakashi looked up at him, intrigued. "Well, what is it?"

Gai let out a deep breath. "I want to know what it feels like for you when we make love."

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, blinking to clear the last vestiges of sleep from his mind as he considered what Gai was saying. "Wait… are you saying you want…"

Gai nodded. "I want to have you inside of me."

Kakashi's eye widened briefly, but he breathed deeply, keeping his calm even as his cock stirred in his pants. "You mean… now?"

Gai swallowed thickly before nodding. "Yeah, why not?"

Kakashi nodded, pulling himself up to plant a gentle kiss on his lover's lips. "Sure… why not?" he whispered, trailing gentle kisses and bites down the man's throat. His fingers traced over toned abs, and Gai shivered under the attentions. Kakashi smiled, kissing his way down Gai's chest. If he was being completely honest with himself, he had thought about this many times, wondering what it would be like to have Gai panting and needy beneath him, but he had decided that he couldn't ask that of Gai when he couldn't give Gai what he had always subconsciously known the other wanted. However, if Gai was offering… well, who was he to deny the man he loved what he wanted?

He started to strip his lover, and as he did so, he continued his trail of bites and kisses down Gai's chest and over his abdomen. When he freed Gai's straining cock, the taijutsu master moaned when he wasted no time sliding it into his mouth. He flipped open the lube he had stealthily grabbed from under the pillows, too impatient to really take his time with foreplay. They had been so close this morning, and Kakashi could still feel the effects of his denied orgasm. He figured he would just have to make it so good that Gai would allow him to take his time the next time they did it this way.

When a slick finger pressed against Gai's entrance, he jumped. He hadn't even known Kakashi grabbed lube, and this was progressing much quicker than he had expected. However, when Kakashi's concerned eyes looked up at him, he smiled reassuringly. After all, it didn't hurt, it just felt… strange. When that finger pressed in, he felt slight pressure, but there was also something about it that was unexplainably good, and he focused on that, finding that the discomfort eased quickly with the gentle twisting of the finger.

Kakashi watched Gai's face, slowly pressing in a second finger when he felt Gai's body relaxing. He gently twisted and scissored his fingers, searching until Gai gasped and moaned loudly above him. He smirked as he pressed in the third finger, rubbing Gai's prostate with each pass. "Oh, _fuck_ , Kakashi!"

Kakashi watched for a moment longer as he drove Gai insane with pleasure before pulling his fingers out abruptly, smiling mischievously at the whimper he let out with loss of contact. Kakashi got up onto his knees above Gai, running his slick hand over himself, and he could feel Gai's doubt starting to resurface. He kissed his lover's forehead, his cheeks, and finally his lips. "Don't worry, Gai. I'll go easy, and if you don't like it, we'll stop. Okay?"

Gai bit his lip, nodding. Kakashi smiled at him, claiming his lips in a hot kiss to distract him from the feel of the press of his cock against his entrance. When he began to push, Gai moaned as the blunt head slipped through the slightly resisting ring of muscle, stretching him much wider than Kakashi's fingers had, but at the same time, something about the burn made him feel so much more connected to the man he loved, and he craved more. "Please, Kakashi… more…" he begged.

Kakashi smirked as he pressed in a little faster, not fast enough to hurt him, but enough to appease his natural tendency to go a little farther than he should a little too fast. It seemed to please him, because Gai moaned, "Oh, yeah… just like that…"

When Kakashi bottomed out inside of him, Gai was panting and struggling to breathe. Kakashi paused, watching his lover carefully. "Well… how do you feel?" he asked cautiously.

"Gods, Kakashi… it feels so good… Please, need you to move…"

Kakashi smiled, resuming their kiss as he obeyed the man's orders. Gai moaned loudly as Kakashi pulled out and completed his first full thrust, and Kakashi moaned as well. It had been a long time since he had been inside anyone, and he had almost forgotten how good it felt. Plus, this was Gai's first time having anyone inside him, so he was tight. Very tight. Kakashi kissed Gai passionately as he started a relentless rhythm inside of him, breaking the kiss only when breathing became more important than sharing their passion.

Pulling away, Kakashi bent his head as he thrust deep into the willing body beneath him, panting as he watched his cock disappear inside his lover again and again. Coal black eyes watched his face intently as he curled and straightened, tearing a moan from that sculpted jaw as Gai's fingers tightened almost painfully on his biceps. After one particularly hard thrust, Gai gasped and his back arched up towards his lover.

Kakashi's eyes flew to meet Gai's and he froze momentarily at the raw emotion he saw reflected in them. Gai closed his eyes, groaning when Kakashi stopped thrusting, bucking his hips in a desperate attempt to get more of that delicious friction inside. "Kashi, please… please don't stop…" he begged, still trying desperately to push against Kakashi, but Kakashi seemed frozen, hovering above him.

He cracked his eyes open to make sure Kakashi was okay and was assaulted with a torrent of unchecked emotion on Kakashi's face. He stopped moving, locked down by the intensity of Kakashi's eyes as they stared at him, feeling as though he could read Kakashi's every thought and feeling.

Kakashi tried to fight his emotion, giving Gai an unexpectedly hard thrust that caused the larger man to cry out in unbridled pleasure in an attempt to distract himself from the words that were running in circles around his head, banging on the walls, desperate to come out. But he was unsuccessful, staring into the black orbs that showed that everything he was feeling was returned tenfold, and before he knew it, the words spilled out. "I love you," he gasped out, and Gai froze beneath him, staring at him with eyes full of raw emotion and unrestrained lust.

"Kakashi…" he whispered, and their eyes locked as they just watched each other for a moment before Gai reared up and dragged Kakashi's mouth to his, kissing him with hunger and passion. They kissed until the both pulled away gasping for air, and then Gai started to trail sweet kisses down Kakashi's throat. Kakashi moaned as he started to thrust again, slow but deep, into his lover. "'Kashi… I love you… God, I fucking love you," Gai moaned between kisses, and Kakashi groaned in pleasure as his pace increased. Kakashi wasn't sure how long he'd last like this, so he reached between them to begin stroking his lover.

"Oh, Kakashi… yes… oh, fuck yeah… please, Kakashi… come in me…"

Kakashi groaned hearing that. "Fuck, Gai… nnh… I'm close…" He sped the pace of his hand, and with just a few more strokes, Gai spilled between them, his essence painting their chests. Kakashi followed not long after, collapsing on top of the broader man in his afterglow.

It took a few moments before Kakashi could find the energy to pull out, and he didn't really feel like moving, so he just grabbed his undershirt and started cleaning Gai up. Gai watched him interestedly, but waited until he was done to hold open his arms and cuddle his love to his chest.

"Did you truly mean what you said last night, rival?" Gai asked, going for nonchalance but failing miserably.

Kakashi swallowed hard, his fingers pausing in the small, gentle patterns they were drawing out on Gai's left pec. "Yes…" he said quietly, his voice hoarse with emotion. "I don't deserve you at all. But Gai, despite all that, if you can forgive me for my flaws and settle for being with someone like me… I'm one hundred percent yours, if you'll have me…"

Just then, fingers gently gripped his chin, and his face was pulled up to look into Gai's beaming eyes, overflowing with happy tears before the older man whispered, "Of course I'll have you, rival. I wouldn't have it any other way."


	14. Chapter 14

And here we are at the end! Hope you have all enjoyed it! Thank you for reading!

It had been several months, and Gai and Kakashi were doing well. Their friends and students were starting to get used to them being gay, though Naruto still couldn't look at them without shuddering. They had announced their relationship about a month after it had officially started. Well, okay, not so much announced as that Naruto had walked in on them having sex on Kakashi's couch (Kakashi would still maintain to this day that it was Naruto's fault for walking in without proper invitation) and run screaming through the village, alternately calling his teammates names and crying- loudly- that his eyes were bleeding. After that, they had quickly gathered the rest of their students to tell them personally, before Naruto's big mouth made things seem like something they weren't, because no matter what that boy said, he always made it come out wrong somehow.

Their reactions were essentially what they had expected. Sakura supported them, but told them she wanted to know nothing about it. Sai had been confused, as none of his books on romantic relationships had told him that men could love men, so Sakura had had to explain homosexuality to him. Sasuke just gaped at them for a second, before composing his face and shrugging. Lee, of course, had tears of joy streaming down his face that his sensei had found a 'worthy and youthful lover', and Kakashi had cringed at the idea of their students thinking about what exactly it was that Naruto had walked in on. Neji had stared at them before sighing and placing his head in one hand when Gai had started talking about how brave it was to be making 'youthful declarations to the one you love'.

The surprise, at least as far as Kakashi was concerned, was Tenten's reaction. She had simply nodded, and when the conversation was nearly done, had looked at them both smugly and said, "Well, it's about time you two idiots realized." The couple had gaped at her, and she smirked. "Come on, you two have been dancing around each other as long as I've known Gai-sensei. It's been pretty obvious to everyone else that you two should just get together already."

The two sensei's had just gotten through having lunch together with their two teams, and Gai and Kakashi we're lagging a little behind, watching their students fondly as they headed off to the training grounds for a friendly three-on-three spar. Kakashi turned to tell gai how proud they should be, when he saw Gai's had that gleam in his eye. "Gai, no…" he warned.

Of course, Gai didn't listen. "Rival, I challenge you! A footrace to the training grounds! Last one there has to cook dinner tonight!" he cried, bolting off instantly and leaving Kakashi coughing in a near-comedic dust cloud.

"How youthful, sensei! I shall join you!" cried Lee, leaving the eyes of his team rolling as he raced after his sensei with gusto that no one else Kakashi had even met could match.

Kakashi just chuckled and shook his head, figuring that he could afford to let Gai have this one, and it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that all Gai could cook was curry, and Kakashi didn't think his intestines could handle that.

"Ya know, Kakashi-sensei," Naruto started, as the pair watched Gai's team walk away.

"Hm?" Kakashi turned briefly to Naruto before his attention returned to his lover's ass as the man ran away from him, his arms flailing madly as he explained something to Lee in his typical dramatic style, a slight smile turning up the corners of his mask-covered lips.

"I'm totally cool with you being gay and all… and I know Gai is powerful and stuff, but honestly… don't you think you could have gotten someone way hotter?"

Kakashi chuckled lightly to himself, watching his lover interact animatedly with his students up ahead. "You know, Naruto, I would never even dare think that way." And it was true. While Gai may not be conventionally attractive, Kakashi couldn't think of anyone who would ever be better suited to handle him and his… quirks. In that way, Gai was beautiful to him in a way that no other could ever be, whether they be male or female, and for that reason, Gai was the most attractive person he had ever met. And he could hardly believe that he got to spend the rest of his life with him.

"Ahh, FUCK, Gai!" Kakashi cried out as the broad-shouldered man stilled above him, panting as he struggled to catch his breath. Gai shot Kakashi a crooked smile before he collapsed onto the bed beside him, staring up at the ceiling and enjoying the afterglow. "God, that was amazing," Kakashi panted.

Gai turned his head and smiled gently at Kakashi, bringing a pale hand to his lips and brushing over his knuckles. "You were wonderful as usual, my beloved rival." Kakashi smiled back as Gai brought pale fingers down over his heart, his own tan fingers intertwining. They lay there for a moment, sated and happy, before Gai snaked an arm underneath Kakashi's shoulders and pulled him against his body. Kakashi instantly curled up against him, resting his head on the strong chest. Gai smiled as he smoothed unruly silver bedhead out of his face, kissing the top of the man's head.

Kakashi chuckled lightly, and Gai made an inquisitive noise. "Who would have ever guessed that we would end up here?" he asked, still smiling to himself.

Gai thought back on all their history, their challenges and chuckled deep in his chest. "Honestly, rival, looking back… I think we're stupid that we never saw it sooner."

Kakashi snorted. "You know, you may be onto something there..." He lifted his head and gave Gai a devious grin. "Well, you know what they say. Nothing like making up for lost time…"

Gai barely had time to react before Kakashi was straddling him, kissing a heated line up his jaw. He moaned as he stared at the ceiling of Kakashi's bedroom above his head, reveling in the pleasure the other man was giving him, and pulled back so he was looking at Kakashi, his eyes full of love and passion. "You know, my love, it was a long, hard journey to get us here. And honestly… I don't think anything has ever been as worth the pain in my whole life."


End file.
